Gifts from Stake Conference

In my previous post I wrote that I want to seek learning during my church meetings with more faith and diligence. Well, here are my thoughts and things I want to remember from this weekend's stake conference:

"I want live my life so as to feel able to run towards the Savior when the second coming comes." ~Sister Debra Eckel, our Stake Relief Society President

I want that, too. I appreciated the themes of preparation and striving for holiness today so we can feel worthy to run to Jesus when he comes again.  President Ward told a story about a farmer who was interviewing a young man for a position as a hired hand. The farmer asked for his qualifications and the young man simply responded, "I can sleep when the wind blows." That was puzzling, but the farmer hired him anyway.  He seemed to be a good hard worker, and there were no problems. Finally one day a huge storm started to form and the wind started blowing extremely hard. The farmer ran to get his hired hand to start preparations to secure the farm and found the young man sleeping. He then remembered what the lad had said about being able to "sleep when the wind blows" and decided to leave him be and go check on the animals and farm alone.  He found everything in order, the animals secure, the hay bales tied down, the cellar doors locked.  The hired hand hadn't waited for the disaster to strike.  He was always prepared to meet it without fear.  He really could, "Sleep when the wind blows."

So, President Ward then asked us, "Can we sleep when the wind blows?"  That is an interesting thing to think about because we can apply that question temporally or spiritually.  I think we need to be constantly preparing for that wind to come in either case.

Taking it spiritually, Sister Eckel asked, "Do you have a 'deal breaker' a point where you think you'd throw in the towel when it comes to the gospel? Could something happen to you that is so hard, you would abandon your faith? She had a friend who tragically lost her son in a freak accident working as a park ranger, and that friend gave up all hope and became bitter. And Debra wondered at it, "Would I give up hope too?"  Well, years later she found herself in a similar situation--she lost her son.  It was very hard, but she held fast to the gospel. I think she was able to do that because she had continued nurturing her testimony and she was holding fast to the "iron rod," or word of God, as described in the parable of Lehi's dream in the Book of Mormon. She didn't let it go when times were easy, so she was still holding fast when times for tough. She was prepared for when the winds would blow. And they blow for all of us.

We had a visiting general authority with us this conference, Elder Larry Y. Wilson, and he talked in detail about holding fast to the iron rod in the Saturday night session. I was moved by this picture he shared:

He asked, "Is the hand about to take up the iron rod? Or is it just letting go?"  This picture shows either a glorious step towards Christ, or a tragedy. Hope or despair.

He also told about how he was able to take a hike to Yosemite National Park and hike up the back side of half dome, a mountain that was cut in half by a glacier many millenia ago. The cut front is a shear cliff, but even going up the backside, like they did, the last 600 feet are so steep that the park service has literally installed an iron rod for the hikers to hold to, to aid them to the top so they won't have to use technical climbing gear.

Where the rod starts, a park ranger is stationed to forewarn that every year some hiker gets about halfway up and lets go, falling to his death, even with the warning not to do that.  He implores you to hold fast and keep moving towards your goal to reach the summit.  Wow.

First I want to say, I would like to go hike half dome.  That sounds incredible!  Next, I want to say, WOW, what an awesome hands on lesson about the iron rod!

Today Elder Wilson also shared that a friend of his, a woman his age was talking about life, and she said her greatest regret was that she had not done more to teach her children the gospel in her home. That baffled him because she was a fabulous gospel teacher who had always magnified her callings, and her kids seemed to have learned the gospel. But she clarified that she wished that she had put just as much zeal and loving effort into simply teaching her family the gospel as she had in her calling.

I needed to hear that today.

I have no problem magnifying my church calling.  I serve as the Stake Music Chairmen and LOVE directing the choir and choosing music to uplift and bring the spirit to our meetings. I am a passionate musician, so it is easy to get caught up in this service. But I've seen my husband and children have to sacrifice because of my over-zealousness at times.  I can very easily be caught up in musical work, instead of the most important work, teaching and loving and being present with my own family.

Elder Wilson told how a young child one asked him, "Did Heavenly Father make the iron rod low enough so I can reach it?"

Yes.

Let me help you reach it, my child! Like Lehi, I want my family with me partaking of the fruit of the tree of life, enjoying that pure love of Christ together as a family unit.

Much was said of temples and holiness, and I wrote in my notes, "Let the children touch the temple, and let the temple touch you." A Swedish women on arriving at the temple put her hand on the exterior of the wall and spoke, "Lord, I have come to thy Holy House."  Saturday I got to attend the endowment of a young woman in my ward, a recent convert, who is soon to leave on her mission.  I am so excited for her. I hadn't been to the temple in too long, and appreciated the love and peace I felt in serving there.

It was reiterated to me again this conference that you can't teach what you don't know. I need to experience scholar phase in the gospel and in secular learning. Really, they are interconnected. You need a testimony to help others gain a testimony, and you inspire others by setting the example and studying to gaina testimony yourself. Sister Taylor, our Dallas Mission President's wife, said that the missionaries all come in with the goal to bring others unto Christ. Their biggest impact, though, is that they themselves are brought unto Christ. Their hearts are changed and their testimonies ignite like fire! I love that missionaries have a dedicated time to study daily those sacred things that they strive to teach to their investigators. You have to do the work to gain both spiritual and secular knowledge before you can lead others.

Saturday evening Elder Wilson shared how his friend Phil inspired him to teach by doing. Phil invited nonmembers who had been going to church with their spouses for years to read the Book of Mormon with him. They'd get together at his home or their homes and read two verses at a time back and forth and discuss. These men, after having attended church with their member spouses for 20 and 10 years respectively, never had the desire to get baptized until now, after gaining burning testimonies of the Book of Mormon, reading it with a mentor.

Inspire not require.

Elder Wilson was inspired by Phil's efforts and eventually followed his example and invited his friend investigating the gospel to read the Book of Mormon with him in his home. This friend admitted to never having read a single book since graduating high school thirty years previously. He was a little dyslexic, so reading was difficult--he had avoided doing it ever since. The reading sessions were painfully slow at first, reading and comprehension stumbling blocks in every single verse, not to mention there were lots of questions to stop and discuss since his friend had no spiritual foundation whatsoever. But, with time, eventually this friend's gospel understanding AND reading ability improved and improved. He, too, gained a burning testimony of the Book of Mormon and was baptized!!

These men didn't just give the assignment to their friends to read. Like good mentors, they jumped in and learned with the student. They had already gained their own testimonies of what they were reading and teaching, so they were able to mentor their friends as they worked to find their own testimonies. These folks needed someone to help them take the step. They needed someone willing to serve in this way.  This is how I can inspire my children.  "Go read that book and learn," has less impact than, "Let's read this book together and learn." Especially right now, while they're young.

President Ward counseled us to remember people's names, love without judging, and think about the golden rule as we relate with others whether they are acting rightly towards us or not, and to strive to make sincere friendships. I appreciated this counsel a lot.

Elder Wilson amazed me in this regard.  He was the concluding speaker in both sessions, and before sharing his prepared message, he lovingly reiterated the worth of the messages and spirit felt in every talk and musical number previous to his speaking. I was amazed at how actively he could listen, and how he could share his life experiences and scriptures to expound on what they had shared with such ease. He remembered and used the speaker's names while he spoke, and his messages were shared with love and praise to their efforts. When I met him, his praise for the music was sincere, and he remembered my baby's name several minutes after he was introduced to her. (He's a man... Yes, I was impressed.)

I especially loved his sharing a tidbit about the sacrament in response to a recent convert, Brother Wells, sharing his love for the sacrament. He said that he read an article in the national edition of the Deseret News where folks were asked to try and throw bean bags through different holes in a board and then they were to self report how many made it through the holes. There was a monetary reward for getting more bean bags through the holes. The first time, 80% of the people lied about how many bean bags they tossed through the holes.  The next time they ran the study, they reminded the participants about their moral obligations and asked them to sign a waiver promising they would report honestly. That time, 80% told the truth.  Just being reminded to be honest was a moral elevation to the study participants as a whole.

The sacrament is our weekly reminder. That renewal, that cleansing, can be "morally elevating" for us every week. The sacrament is a reminder through the bread and water representing the body and blood of Christ that we should strive to remember Him and keep His commandments so we can be more like Him. That was really powerful to me.  I hadn't ever quite thought of the sacrament like that before.  Like a written waiver signed in my heart to do better week by week.

I really loved and appreciated the insights I received from Stake Conference. I don't know if they are helpful to anyone else, but I need to record them for me so I don't forget!  The Lord will trust me with more knowledge if I am a good steward over what I have been given.  

Rethinking Sunday Worship

I have always loved attending church and listening to the uplifting messages every week, but recently I read something that's changed my perspective about church and other like meetings that have speakers and teachers. Basically, this person said that we ought to have a pen in hand while listening to speakers, to audio presentations, to podcasts, to other "lecture situations", so we can record any and all insights that will help us become better leaders and mentors, better able to succeed in our individual missions. Active, involved listening.

I've religiously written my thoughts in books I've been reading for some time, so I know that recording insights and impressions is extremely valuable. But audio presentations, not so much. While I've taken notes during the semi-annual General Conferences our church holds, and during the occasional motivational presentation, etc., it just hasn't occurred to me (until now) that I should treat ALL the opportunities to gain wisdom from others (at church) with enthusiasm, like they might be life changing events. I should listen like I may discover the answers to all my problems; I should come prepared and expect that the Lord just might speak to me through a shy, twelve-year-old youth speaker. Humbling... right? 

Essentially my perspective change is an Energy change; I've known a long time that the Holy Ghost can witness truths through his humble servants the prophets or even my next door neighbor.  I've just lacked enthusiasm for the simple, humble talk from my neighbor. Don't get me wrong, I love and appreciate everyone's talks, my point is that I haven't come expecting to gain something profound, ready to be inspired. I never forget my notepad when I go to a paid conference or when I have an opportunity to hear the prophet speak, but "Gee, I'm wonder what in our discussion during Sunday School is going to change my life today"... never really crossed my mind. I haven't prayerfully sought the Lord out with my current questions and problems before church on Sunday like I habitually would, for say, General Conference. 

That's a mistake!!  

Sacrament meeting is a beautiful place to receive inspiration, right after we have renewed all our baptismal covenants. Taken worthily, the sacrament is a special and sacred cleansing of our body and soul. The talks following it have all the potential in the world to be pivotal events.  With proper preparation, our Sunday School meetings and other meetings afterwards are an opportunity to learn and discuss the gospel with our peers. To often I attend these meetings ill-prepared, not having read and studied the pre-appointed scriptures and study material. I'm just cheating myself by not taking full advantage of these spiritual mentoring environments. I cheat myself and others by not fully participating in them. 

Stake Conferences and Ward Conferences are especially awesome opportunities for gaining inspiration. Our Stake President has the priesthood authority and responsibility to give us the specific council that we need to hear as a stake from the Lord. I know our Stake President doesn't take that responsibility lightly. He prepares to speak with earnest prayer in our behalf, and he labors over what he needs to say. He is mindful and diligent in his preparations. The additional speakers are selected prayerfully, and I think most of them also seek to have the spirit as they prepare for and later give their talks.  

I want to keep these things in mind as I'm preparing to attend these habitual meetings. Most Sundays my mind is in a rush just hoping to get to the early choir rehearsal on time (and unscathed by spit-up) and my thoughts are merely prayers that the wrestling match with my wiggle worms will end favorably, somewhat reverent.  I have felt beautiful, life changing feelings during Sunday meetings, even with the chaos of young children, but how many opportunities do I miss because I'm coming prepared to endure instead of prepared to learn? And when I do learn something, how often do I retain it by writing it down? Too often, I believe, I let those moments burn within my bosum for a small moment only to distractedly let them go so they float up and away, their memory only a vague impression on my heart. 

It's a pity.

I think my Heavenly Father wants me to come to church with a little more faith and enthusiasm.  He wants to teach me.  I think there is inspiration to be had listening in the foyer and bouncing a grumpy baby. There is inspiration in just trying to find inspiration in it.

So, I hope I'll find myself taking notes during the Primary program, during fast and testimony meeting, and during that shy little youth speaker's very first Sacrament meeting talk. I have faith that the spirit may speak to me through you. And I want to be ready to record those treasures when it does.

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." Matthew 7:7

The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways

I think the Lord knows that I am a little hard-headed.  I've had a couple of neat experiences of late akin to Corrie Ten Boom's "fleas" that didn't at first seem very exciting, but have proved to be great blessings.

First, here are the blessings:  My home is now clean and set-up for home schooling.  We have created a much healthier environment for learning. A lot of little improvements on our house are also in the works.  It is good to make progress...  These are things that we could have done easily without any "fleas" except I'm so hard headed. . .

The Lord knows me.

He knows I hate change. A few weeks ago I started reading a book entitled, "Leadership Education" by Oliver and Rachel DeMille, and within it are 55 ingredients they have found to be essential to set up the best possible home environment for folks in core and love of learning phases to gain a great leadership education. (Explanation on phases of learning here.)  These ingredients are awesome. You can tell that the DeMilles have really sought for inspiration as they've continued their own educations and mentored their children and others. I've really enjoyed learning about and starting to practice a lot of these ingredients slowly with our family.

There were a few, though, that I just sat on the back burner and said, "I can't. Not now... too hard." All the ingredients particularizing the organization of a leadership education home: The Family Room, The Closet, The Entertainment Room, The Bookshelf.   These I knew were important, but I couldn't see how I would do it.  I teach voice lessons in the pretty front living room, so I didn't want the TV there, but at the same time, I knew having all the big comfy couches in our family room facing the television set as they currently were was not a good educational environment in the least. Your couches face what you value most. All hail the television set? Oh dear!  And I thought, "A locking closet for school activities? How and where? My cabinets are full. My shelves are full. Most of the books are on the built in bookshelves in my bedroom." I knew they needed to be more accessible to the family at large, but how? No room in the family room. No room anywhere.

I said to myself, "I know this is important. I know that there are changes that need to be made, but I just can't do it.  I don't see an easy solution."  And I set it aside.

And then my husband's job changed.

Suddenly he was faced with a longer commute, possible higher pay, and he, being an advocate for healthy change, suggested that we start looking around at houses with the possibility to get some land up closer to where he would be working.

He sold me at "Get some land."  I come from farming stock, and while we've made do with our small suburban lot, the idea of having somewhere for my kids to run, and play, and do real family work more safely, and more freely was extremely tantalizing.  So we looked at some houses, we gave it some prayer, and we both felt like we received the answer, "Get your house ready to sell."

Uh, okay.

So we started that stressful, horrible process, fired up by our intent on putting an offer on a spacious house we quickly found with fantastic storage accommodations on about two acres of land with very pretty trees, backing up to a bubbling creek, and including with a large workshop built on to the garage, that close to work, close to church, and close to a great library but in a quiet, peaceful location.

To make a long story slightly shorter, I packed up our entire house, in order for us to get new carpet laid, so it would be easier to sell. We wanted to save money so we moved all the furniture with some friends help and ripped the carpet out ourselves. We have two young children and a baby, people, so this was no small feat.  At the same time, we ripped off a section of rotting siding from the house to replace, dug old unsightly deck posts out of the yard, and since I was the one packing I made some important decisions about the large amounts of stuff we somehow had accumulated in our house these last several years. The prospect of moving suddenly turns a lot of "treasures" into junk, haha!  You know it is a truly successful "purge" if you have to go to the donation center three or more times.  Wow.

During the middle of this process we found out that the dream house we wanted was not going to be a possibility for us.  No bank would finance it for a number of reasons that I won't go into here.  Here were the fleas, and my tears, and a lot of feelings of "WHY? are we going through this right now??"

Be grateful in all circumstances.

We kept looking for houses. I realize now as I look back on it, every time I was ready to give up and postpone getting the carpet and moving things around, a new house would catch my interest and I'd keep plowing along, packing and prepping the house for sell, just in case.  The weekend we got the carpet in, my older kids were at my folks' house for super fun Grandma and Grandpa time, so I got to thinking (really thinking since there were no kids talking)... everything is moved out.  How do I want to move it back in?

Leadership Education style... that's how!  I thought, "We may not be here for long, but we can attempt a different organization and see how it goes. Can't hurt anything, right?"

Change accomplished.

The front living room is now home for our computers, TV, piano, speakers, etc, and has officially been knighted "The Entertainment Room."  We use said entertainment less often, and it feels good. And my concern about voice lessons? They've been rearranged so that there is space between lessons for mom and kid time/baby feeding time rather than being back to back as a long block on lesson day. We don't even miss babysitter TV (usually).  It is better to help the kids find good activities to do during those short lessons anyway.  Victory!

The Family Room couches and recliner are now closer together and facing one another about ten feet apart in front of our cozy fireplace over which hangs a picture of Jesus Christ.  Good bye television idol, and hello cozy reading and discussion zone! Our couches face what is important, members of our family and our Savior, both things that warm my heart, like the cozy fire in the fireplace also within that circle. Freeing up wall space by moving the couches made room for a table and large bookshelf in the Family Room, doubling as the school room, that used to be upstairs in the craft/guest room, which was an under utilized room.

About that old craft room: We got rid of the guest bed in the "moving" purge, so we moved all the toys into the center room... now the "Play Room," and moved the girls to the old guest bedroom.  The entire upper level of our home is now useful instead of a storage and toy disaster.  It is so much easier to help the children clean one room together, the play room, rather than clean up and organize toys in separate rooms. Just beds and clothes are in their bedrooms. How nice and restful! The kids helped make this organizational decision and seem to like the results, too.  They always play together anyway, so there is no real need to separate toys. Added bonus for me, the playroom looks full ... we are less likely to get more and more toys that multiply like bunnies (stuffed animals, etc.), when it looks like we have enough toys already. Yay!

With the move of the TV to another room, I moved the media with it, freeing up a large child-locked cabinet in the living room with many shelves. School supplies and art supplies from the craft room are now on these shelves. I also reorganized music, games, and many activities and chose to put "school time only" things in a locking pine chest that used to house music I never looked at (which will soon be gone through carefully and re-homed).

I could keep going with this, but won't.  Essentially, my entire home is reorganized (nearly) in a way that makes WAY MORE SENSE for our family.  We utilize rooms properly, have the most important schooling things all in one room (rather than in multiple locations all over the house), and since we got rid of tons of stuff, it is a lot easier to clean up everyday.

AND, the urge to move is gone for now. Maybe we'll get some land someday, but for now things are looking pretty good where we are.  It took the urge to move in order for us to actually get organized for leadership education in our home. It took new carpet because all the moving around wouldn't have been worth it without doing that. Terrible pet stains from previous owners and some from our own pet (now Grandma's beloved pet) made the new carpet essential.  I'm grateful that we looked for houses, that we got new carpet, and that now I'm much more organized.

The Lord works in Mysterious Ways...

Rumors can stop flying.  We're sticking around for now.