Billy is extremely passionate about hunting with coon hounds....he wants his own for years! Wanting his own pair of hounds consumes every waking moment of his days and troubles his sleep each night. His parents are sympathetic, but unable to afford the cost of pure blood hounds they attempt to dissuade him away from his passion by offering a Collie puppy, which he refuses, and by purchasing him steel traps, which he appreciates, but he cannot be dissuaded for long. He discovers an advertisement for hounds in a discarded sportsman magazine and sets a goal to earn the money and work hard to get those pups. He works for two years, and he succeeds!
I was inspired by this young boy's tenacity, his perseverance, and determination in working and saving his money for two whole years to get Old Dan and Little Ann. Every adult he comes in contact with, including his Grandpa, shared in that amazement with me. I have to admit, though, that I was really disappointed in Billy's parents for not realizing how passionate he was about getting those hounds. For some reason, he hid the fact that he was working hard for those dogs from them. They aren't aware that he's saving money. He keeps his passionate goal a secret. And when he finally gets the money, Billy doesn't tell his parents about it, he goes to his Grandpa, who then tells him NOT to go to his dad about it because his dad is in need of a new mule. I was flabbergasted! Really? Would his dad have stolen his son's hard earned money and disregarded that passion yet again that he and his wife had tried to put aside years before? Would he have broken his child's heart? Would they have been untrustworthy?
Just considering that made me sad, but it led me to some good introspection. How "safe" am I for my children? Can they confide their hopes and dreams to me? Do I really listen to them, and read their body language and sense their unspoken concerns? Do I validate their passions or brush them aside expecting that they'll "grow out of it"?
What about my passions as a youth? How did my parents treat me?
When I was young I was a very passionate child. I loved to play outside, to create things, to imagine, to climb the tallest trees, swing high, and be free. I enjoyed digging in the sand and dirt, hunting for rocks and treasures, going on adventures singing and making up my own songs along the way, just being joyful outdoors as much as possible. Thankfully, my parents were loving and patient with their dirty, wind-tousled oldest child. I was fiery in my opinions and over-excitable in my passions (adults often described me as high-strung and dramatic) but with that fire I was filled with talent and determination to boot. Happily, I desired to do good, and my parents were supportive of my little passions. For a long time, I toyed back and forth between two great loves, science and music. I wanted to be an archaeologist or paleontologist, so I thought, or a musician. I loved to sing, play the piano, and later, play the trumpet, and I was given amble opportunities at church and at school and at home to develop my musical talents to bless the lives of others.
Looking back, I don't feel like my passions were swatted aside from me. I lost interest in science when I couldn't mentally handle and grasp the math that went along with it in school between 6th and 8th grade... so that passion was buried for a time. However, my musical passions continued to grow and grow, and I developed those talents and gained performing experience sharing them, and gained leadership experience working as a section leader in choir and band, and as a social officer. I learned what it is to get extremely nervous, developed some inhibiting perfectionism tendencies, and have since learned to let most of the anxieties go so that musical expression and love can rein free. Its been a beautiful journey, and I'm grateful for my parents who sacrificed much so that I could take piano lessons, voice lessons, and trumpet lessons even when money was tight. They bartered with teachers or scrimped to pay for them when I was young, and as I grew older I was asked to responsibly make choices about what lessons I would take--I dropped piano for trumpet, and later I helped work for some of my lessons babysitting and doing accounting for my voice teacher, and mowing lawns in the summer to continue paying for summer trumpet lessons. I learned that with passion and talent must come responsibility and hard work. It was great to be talented, but I couldn't get by on talent alone. I learned that it isn't just about you...it's about your family, too. My parents didn't just support my talents and passions, but my siblings' various talents and passions including art, music, writing, gymnastics, mechanical processes, and more!
Seeing how much my parents did for me to help me reach my God-given potential, I want to do the same for my own kids, and I want them to see I'm still developing and using my God-given potential, too, for non-kid related things. I think I selfishly assumed my parents were done with their passions because they were adults, that they had had passions as youth, but now it was just us. How silly! They were quieter about their passions when I was a kid, a common generational trait, but they have them to this day. I don't think it's selfish of me to say that I want my children to know it isn't all about them; I want them to see me work hard towards something I'm passionate about, something that isn't directly about them and their lives. I hope it will inspire them to embrace their own passions and keep learning and growing their whole lives long, even as adults. I hope that embracing one another's passions together as a family, we can grow stronger and help each other succeed. I hope that will reduce the sense of entitlement that abounds in our world, at least within our own family.
I know that's what my parents wanted for us, too. I think the world has changed from one where entire families had to work hard together to just survive into one of general abundance where parents are expected (unfortunately) to give their children more than they had. My parents grew up in the crossroads of those times, working hard as children with parents who sacrificed all. My generation was comparatively spoon-fed and spoiled (but my parents taught me hard work through example, thank heavens!!), and my children's generation is a gross extension of mine divided between poverty encouraging entitlement programs or parental silver platters--neither promoting a healthy sense that hard work gives you the greatest reward. It's difficult to find legitimate ways to teach kids how to work hard in this day and age.
I'm up for the challenge. My passion, their passions, our passions... my work, their work, our work. It's a start!
I'm up for the challenge. My passion, their passions, our passions... my work, their work, our work. It's a start!
