On Passion: Where the Red Fern Grows

I recently finished reading Wilson Rawl's, "Where the Red Fern Grows" with my family, which is such a wonderful book. I decided to read it from a child's perspective, thinking about "Passion" for Billy, his Grandpa, and myself and my children's. I've had some interesting thoughts along the way...

Billy is extremely passionate about hunting with coon hounds....he wants his own for years! Wanting his own pair of hounds consumes every waking moment of his days and troubles his sleep each night. His parents are sympathetic, but unable to afford the cost of pure blood hounds they attempt to dissuade him away from his passion by offering a Collie puppy, which he refuses, and by purchasing him steel traps, which he appreciates, but he cannot be dissuaded for long. He discovers an advertisement for hounds in a discarded sportsman magazine and sets a goal to earn the money and work hard to get those pups. He works for two years, and he succeeds!

I was inspired by this young boy's tenacity, his perseverance, and determination in working and saving his money for two whole years to get Old Dan and Little Ann. Every adult he comes in contact with, including his Grandpa, shared in that amazement with me. I have to admit, though, that I was really disappointed in Billy's parents for not realizing how passionate he was about getting those hounds. For some reason, he hid the fact that he was working hard for those dogs from them. They aren't aware that he's saving money. He keeps his passionate goal a secret.  And when he finally gets the money, Billy doesn't tell his parents about it, he goes to his Grandpa, who then tells him NOT to go to his dad about it because his dad is in need of a new mule. I was flabbergasted! Really? Would his dad have stolen his son's hard earned money and disregarded that passion yet again that he and his wife had tried to put aside years before?  Would he have broken his child's heart?  Would they have been untrustworthy? 

Just considering that made me sad, but it led me to some good introspection.  How "safe" am I for my children?  Can they confide their hopes and dreams to me? Do I really listen to them, and read their body language and sense their unspoken concerns?  Do I validate their passions or brush them aside expecting that they'll "grow out of it"?  

What about my passions as a youth? How did my parents treat me? 

When I was young I was a very passionate child.  I loved to play outside, to create things, to imagine, to climb the tallest trees, swing high, and be free. I enjoyed digging in the sand and dirt, hunting for rocks and treasures, going on adventures singing and making up my own songs along the way, just being joyful outdoors as much as possible. Thankfully, my parents were loving and patient with their dirty, wind-tousled oldest child.  I was fiery in my opinions and over-excitable in my passions (adults often described me as high-strung and dramatic) but with that fire I was filled with talent and determination to boot. Happily, I desired to do good, and my parents were supportive of my little passions. For a long time, I toyed back and forth between two great loves, science and music.  I wanted to be an archaeologist or paleontologist, so I thought, or a musician. I loved to sing, play the piano, and later, play the trumpet, and I was given amble opportunities at church and at school and at home to develop my musical talents to bless the lives of others.

Looking back, I don't feel like my passions were swatted aside from me. I lost interest in science when I couldn't mentally handle and grasp the math that went along with it in school between 6th and 8th grade... so that passion was buried for a time.  However, my musical passions continued to grow and grow, and I developed those talents and gained performing experience sharing them, and gained leadership experience working as a section leader in choir and band, and as a social officer.  I learned what it is to get extremely nervous, developed some inhibiting perfectionism tendencies, and have since learned to let most of the anxieties go so that musical expression and love can rein free. Its been a beautiful journey, and I'm grateful for my parents who sacrificed much so that I could take piano lessons, voice lessons, and trumpet lessons even when money was tight. They bartered with teachers or scrimped to pay for them when I was young, and as I grew older I was asked to responsibly make choices about what lessons I would take--I dropped piano for trumpet, and later I helped work for some of my lessons babysitting and doing accounting for my voice teacher, and mowing lawns in the summer to continue paying for summer trumpet lessons. I learned that with passion and talent must come responsibility and hard work. It was great to be talented, but I couldn't get by on talent alone.  I learned that it isn't just about you...it's about your family, too.  My parents didn't just support my talents and passions, but my siblings' various talents and passions including art, music, writing, gymnastics, mechanical processes, and more! 

Seeing how much my parents did for me to help me reach my God-given potential, I want to do the same for my own kids, and I want them to see I'm still developing and using my God-given potential, too, for non-kid related things. I think I selfishly assumed my parents were done with their passions because they were adults, that they had had passions as youth, but now it was just us. How silly! They were quieter about their passions when I was a kid, a common generational trait, but they have them to this day. I don't think it's selfish of me to say that I want my children to know it isn't all about them; I want them to see me work hard towards something I'm passionate about, something that isn't directly about them and their lives. I hope it will inspire them to embrace their own passions and keep learning and growing their whole lives long, even as adults. I hope that embracing one another's passions together as a family, we can grow stronger and help each other succeed. I hope that will reduce the sense of entitlement that abounds in our world, at least within our own family. 

I know that's what my parents wanted for us, too. I think the world has changed from one where entire families had to work hard together to just survive into one of general abundance where parents are expected (unfortunately) to give their children more than they had. My parents grew up in the crossroads of those times, working hard as children with parents who sacrificed all. My generation was comparatively spoon-fed and spoiled (but my parents taught me hard work through example, thank heavens!!), and my children's generation is a gross extension of mine divided between poverty encouraging entitlement programs or parental silver platters--neither promoting a healthy sense that hard work gives you the greatest reward.  It's difficult to find legitimate ways to teach kids how to work hard in this day and age.

I'm up for the challenge. My passion, their passions, our passions... my work, their work, our work. It's a start! 

Are We Lost? The Gift of Sight

My kids and I have just finished reading Norton Justor's, "The Phantom Tollbooth," (loved it!) and as I was listening to the DeMille family's "debriefing" they sent this month with my Mentoring in the Classics subscription, their discussion about the little gems you can glean on page 114 really struck me, and I had to stop and write a few of my own thoughts down.  Thanks Sara and Rachel! ;-)

In chapters 9 and 10 Milo gets to learn a lot about understanding and appreciating the Gift of Sight as he is guided by a new friend, Alec Bings, who was "born in the air, with his head at exactly the height it's going to be when he's an adult" (104), so he walks on the air, maintaining the same point of view his entire life, growing down until his feet touch the ground when he reaches adulthood. Though, he points out, "there are a few of us whose feet never reach the ground no matter how old we get, but I suppose its the same in every family" (104).  Some of us never do get grounded in any way, do we?

Milo and Alec banter along and Milo considers all the different ways in which to view something, and he eventually, when he tries to think of things like an adult, slowly rises up in the air like Alec Bings, looks around for a minute, then crashes to the ground...

     "Interesting, wasn't it?"
     "Yes, it was," agreed Milo, rubbing his head and dusting himself off, "but I think I'll continue to see things as a child. It's not so far to fall."
     "A wise decision, at least for the time being," said Alec. "Everyone should have his own point of view."

I love that Milo chooses to see things as a child, essentially choosing innocence, accepting that he has a lot to learn and that it will be best to continue on learning those things gradually and when he's grown enough to fully understand them from his new point of view.  This goes along with childhood development and what we know about the phases of learning. Too often we try and make young children do adult things, like sit for LONG periods of time studying and working at academics that will come so naturally when they're more mature, while we pander our "teenagers," who should be young adults, by feeding their entitlement disease with extra free time, technology, and brain candy entertainment when they're finally developmentally ready for serious study, responsibility, and independent work.   Milo chooses to grow as a child ought to, but as we see in this story, that doesn't mean he chooses not to think or learn. (No, he learns about not thinking early on when he gets stuck in the doldrums.)  He just learns at a developmentally correct pace, which leads me to his next lesson, probably my favorite...

In chapter 10, Milo, Tock, and the Humbug are following Alec on a haphazard, fast-paced journey through the trees, and they start to worry that they're lost.

     "Do you know where we are?" asked Milo.
     "Certainly," [Alec] replied, "we're right here on this very spot. Besides, being lost is never a matter of not knowing where you are; it's a matter of not knowing where you aren't--and I don't care at all where I'm not" (110).

Okay, so this is very circular logic, and funny to think about, and almost doesn't make sense, but I love Alec's resolve to be happy knowing he is right where he's at in his current journey.  He's not lamenting about not being somewhere else, he's living in the present, and that's a gift!

He says, "If you don't believe me, ask the giant" (110), and then we get another perspective about "being lost" that is just brilliant.  Milo knocks on the first door and is greeted by a normal looking man who says he's the smallest giant in the world, and he asks his question only to be referred to the midget, who turns out to be the same man introducing himself as the tallest midget in the world... and later the fattest thin man, and then skinniest fat man in the world.  We receive a lesson, yet again on perspective: There are many ways we can choose to see ourselves and those around us.

Yet, it's when the man finally answer's Milo's question, "Are we lost?" that it gets profound in an Alice in Wonderland meeting the Cheshire Cat sort of way:

     "I know one thing for certain; it's much harder to tell whether you are lost than whether you were lost, for, on many occasions, where you're going is exactly where you are" (114).

PAUSE... I like this.  It's easy to see where you've been, but we are where we are.  I don't think he means to say that we shouldn't better ourselves and want to progress from our current state; having a destination in mind is very important. I think he's suggesting a more positive outlook than we usually allow ourselves. To me, it means I should find joy in journey; not all who wander are lost. As a perfectionistic, wanna-be super mom, it is easy for me to look at all my flaws and think "I'm lost... my destination will never be reached...this bites..." and only see where and what I'm not instead of the beauty of where I am right now. Some "now" situations aren't pretty or glamorous, but still, there's a lot to be missed in life, a lot of potential joy being flushed down the drain if you can't appreciate the different facets of "now".  He continues:

"On the other hand, you often find that where you've been is not at all where you should have gone, and since its much more difficult to find your way back from someplace you've never left, I suggest you go there immediately and then decide" (114).

In Justor's round-about-funny-language way, he's telling us that although it is easier to see when we were lost it is important not to dwell on the past, but to keep moving forward.  This is genius... If you read it too quickly, you may believe he's telling you to live with the "Horrible Hopping Hindsight" demon (238) we meet in the mountains of ignorance. But he's NOT! He's saying don't dwell there because it's hard to find your way back from something you've never left. Progression involves moving on, going forward.  You have to move from the past, be in the now, to have a bright future. While hindsight is important, for we must learn from where we have been, seeing the present and having foresight are key to "not being lost."

I love this encounter, especially as a mom, because it reminds me to find joy in the journey, that dwelling too much on where I've been or where I'm not yet at is less effective than focusing on the now, moving forward by doing the next right thing for me and my family. The next right thing isn't EVERYTHING we aren't doing now.  The "there" the giant suggests we need to go to immediately to decide where we are at is the "exactly where you are" of the previous sentence.  Go where you are and take a look around you...So profound! The demons of the past and future won't help us in our eternal progression, so we need to focus our sights now by seeing where we are and thanking God for the little tender mercies blessing our lives every day, nudging us forward on our journeys. The more we recognize the presents of the present with gratitude, the more we see them in our lives. They multiply!

I love these lessons of sight. These are just a few lessons I gleaned from a few pages of Norton Justor's, "The Phantom Tollbooth," a children's classic, edged on by my MIC classmates' discussion. If you've read it, what are some of the lessons you've gleaned from its pages? I invite you to read and think and discuss, to "come face to face with greatness" by reading the classics with your family. Turn off the TV, put away your mobile tech, and think and share together.  It's worth it, I promise.

Learning With My Children

Learning is so much fun. I don't want to forget some of the neat things we've been doing as a family, so I just want to list some of our adventures the past few months. You may notice a naturalistic theme because I feel that being outside and exploring nature, especially when young, inspires a natural curiosity and desire to learn about the beautiful world around us that is so important. And, I just love sharing my love of nature with my children!

• Richardson's Urban Naturalist Program This little section comes in part from an article I wrote for our local Neighborhood Association Newsletter. "I decided to register and take my kids to Breckinridge Park at 8:30 AM August 29th for the first fall Urban Naturalist Program guided walk “Geology Tells the Story, Past and Present.” Adults are $5, but kids 18 and under are free with a paid adult to chaperon.  I was a little nervous bringing my little ones, but we had a “rockin’” good time!  It was a pleasure meeting and visiting with other nature enthusiasts, and I learned so much just listening to the questions they asked our guide. The walk and talk was fascinating, and though we went off trail just a bit, the trek wasn’t too difficult for either the youngest or oldest members of our group.  My kids enjoyed learning about the white layers of fossil ridden limestone that line Rowlett Creek. Those layers are called the “Austin Chalk” and are 85 million years old!  The fossils in the layers tell the story of when this entire area was covered by the sea. My five year old found a bivalve fossil to keep, and we took some pictures of inoceramus (pictured above) embedded in the rock.  Later some members of the party uncovered some iron disulfide. . . pyrite!  We enjoyed checking out the “fools gold” together.  I can tell you this will not be our last walk with the Urban Naturalist Program!"  End formal newsletter portion... 

I soon discovered during our Geology walk, that the many knowledgeable folks we had with us were kind and willing to answer all our questions about ALL the different plants we were seeing. Seriously, someone in our group could ID anything we asked, and it was so much fun.  Pictured at the left is frostweed which has neat "fins" along the stems, and which will split open during a hard sudden freeze because the sap will expand and essentially explode the plant.  I learned something new! Awesome!! 

 Pictured to the right is a rain lily, so named because it only blooms after a soaking rain.  We were so lucky to see it as we had a very cooling rain the night before after a dry spell, and it was still damp and misty during our hike which was a blessing. Otherwise my kids and I would not have enjoyed this end of August hike in Texas nearly so much! I had no idea that rain lilies existed in this small patch of blackland prairie here in our city (or at all...)  How sweet!   It was such a pleasure to enjoy the company of so many people willing to share their passions and expertise about the beautiful world we live in.  I love learning the names of the plants and animals that I see around me. I feel more connected to the earth, more one with nature.  We'll be back to enjoy more from our urban naturalist program here in the city!

Sampling of some low point value shells you can
trade for at the Nature Exchange in the Dallas Zoo.
My son recently picked out a jingle shell
for his growing collection.

• Nature Exchange at the Dallas Zoo  I think I love this more than my kids.  In the children's zoo is a fabulous little building filled with displays and boxes of rocks, shells, bones, teeth, fossils, pressed leaves, nuts, owl pellets, pinned insects, etc. etc. etc. all things natural (except anything having to do with birds... as many are protected), and each of these items have point values attached to them. Participants can come in and trade up to five nature items (found outside the zoo) per visit for points which they can exchange to take home something from the zoo's ample collection. You can save up your points in their system for a large ticket item (say, a polished geode or full animal skeleton), or exchange points immediately for something more common, as you wish. There are also free item boxes, from which you can take one specimen per visit, often filled with things that other people have brought in to trade that they have a surplus of.  The act of exchanging is SO EXCITING because we get to sit down with a professional during our exchange to learn about the items we brought it. My kids and I really enjoy telling about where we find our items, how we found them, and then the naturalist will teach us something about our item.  At our last exchange we cut open a gall my son found (at this point, I didn't even know what a gall was... which is why we brought it in to find out). Inside, we found wasp larvae which we got to check out under their SWEET microscope that projects onto a flat screen TV.  We've also brought in seeds, rocks, bones, and fossils that we've been unable to identify and we've had a blast learning about these items with the helpers at the zoo.  The room also has a wall of books to peruse to help identify objects we've found and learn more about the world around us. (Nerd alert) Yes, I take my children to the zoo and we go sit in this room and read books...and it's hard to peel them away.  We love it!

Some of the contents of my daughter's pockets from a recent hiking expedition. . .found in the wash. Just the kind of things we like to take to the Nature Exchange to trade and learn about. In my palm is a Texigryphaea mucronata (Devil's Toenail) which is a common fossilized oyster found here in Texas and is anywhere from 200 to 150 million years old. In the center is a periwinkle shell, and up top is an unidentified bone probably from a small rodent.

•  Local hikes (Yes, Dallas has some natural wonders left around town!) are some of our favorite activities. These pictures are from a hike we took in Erwin Park in McKinney. We saw gorgeous wildflowers, and we spent a lot of time trying to catch large tadpoles in the pond there. I didn't get a picture, but we also observed a tree full of wild bees on this hike. So fascinating! 

If you can identify these flowers from our Erwin Park hike,
you will win points in my book. (And I'm cool, so my points count... ;-)

• Backyard Explorations   One of my favorite things to do with the kids is say, "Let's go find some bugs. And we just go outside and search.  We had a lot of rain in the spring, so we had a lot more snails than we usually do.  This little guy was just chilling on our driveway. We've caught and observed many insects, spiders, arthropods, and mollusks all from our tiny yard. Good times...  These butterflies were actually at the Dallas Zoo along the Wild's of Africa trail... three in one picture, how cool!!

• Family Gardening  Something wonderful I learned growing up with my parents that I'm passing on to my kids.  A natural way to learn work ethic, learn about patience, learn to prepare a plan and execute it, learn to love eating green things, learn discipline in daily chores, and in all, learn gratitude for the hard workers who produce the rest of what we consume every day. Most of us sure have it easy getting food here in the United States!  Gardening for me is also relaxing, a peaceful way to connect to the earth, a time where I mediate and ponder on spiritual things (yeah, while I weed.) It's a fine way to watch the wonders of nature as a seed grows and eventually produces a bountiful harvest.  Here are two pictures of our yield this year.  We had enough cucumbers to put up several quarts of dill pickles, and (not pictured) plenty of beets for beet pickles, too! 

I have more pictures of more things we've learned about and done in our home school recently, including some indoor stuff, ha! But I'm getting tired and I think some of them really deserve their own blog postings. But here's to having a great time finding joy in the journey every day. Outside, inside, with friends, or alone, learning and doing things we are interested in and passionate about. Inspiring children to learn by being excited about learning ourselves. 

And, P.S. we read like crazy, do math, music, learn about history and say the Pledge of Allegiance, etc... too. I'm just sharing some of the learning that's MINE... which is how I best inspire. 

Ruth Macken: My New Mentoring Hero!

Delving into the classics again guys, and I came out ahead! I'll introduce Ruth in a minute. . .

I just finished reading my first Louis L'Amour!  I have to say I was super impressed with Bendigo Shafter.  I read it expecting a wild west story, full of gun-slinging and bravado, and it didn't disappoint in that regard, but I was extremely surprised by the depth and sincerity in this book.

Bendigo Shafter is chock full of educational genius for mentors and mentees alike! We follow Bendigo as he "comes of age" growing from a boy to man who is good and strong and true on the American frontier. My pen and highlighter were speeding along on hyper-drive, trying to record every spec of wisdom.  There is SO MUCH to ponder and discuss in this book; I'm a little overwhelmed by it all.  I'm glad I marked up my copy so I can learn and re-learn, and think about how I can help my little boy grow into a man that is morally good, who is strong and courageous in the face of adversity, and who is humble and true in all things. This is a must read for growing boys and their mentors.  

And did Bendigo ever have mentors! He had his father, his brother Cain, Morrell, Ethan, Uruwishi, and other men he respected and looked to for advice and guidance, but I was particularly struck by Mrs. Ruth Macken. This young widow takes Bendigo under her wing as he's thirsting for knowledge and quietly guides him to seek learning from the masters, to discuss the classics, and encourages him to think and ponder and to come to his own conclusions about life and self.

• "Ruth Macken knew of my longing for knowledge, of my longing for a larger brighter world somewhere in the distance. She was a woman to whom a boy might talk of things dreamed. There was understanding in her, and sympathy. Also, I thought, there was a longing in her for the same things" (25).  Like Ruth, I want the empathy to see into the hearts of my boys and be understanding and safe to "talk of things dreamed".  I love that she has a "longing in her for the same things," that she longed to continue reading and learning, and to see the world and her circumstances change for the better.  

• I appreciate her strong beliefs on education. "Of course we must have a school, but the building is less important than the teacher. It is the teacher who makes the school, no matter how magnificent the building.  A school is wherever a man can learn, Mr. Shafter, do not forget that" (25).  I agree with her, that one can learn anywhere and everywhere. It doesn't matter how big and grand the building, the technology, or funding for a school is. The teacher's ability to mentor and continue learning, (and just as importantly) the learner's desire and diligence matter most.  You can put them in an empty horse stall to discuss a few good books and the learning can be marvelous. Now, I believe establishing safe environments conducive to learning is important, but it doesn't matter whether that environment is a private home or a state-of-the-art classroom so long as the mentor is able and the student is willing and ready to learn. 

• I love how Ruth helps Ben come face to face with greatness. " I believe you will enjoy the book, Mr. Shafter, and you will enjoy meeting Mr. Thoreau.  "He's here?" I was surprised. "In the book." She smiled at me... "In that trunk I have some of the greatest minds in the world, ready to talk to me or teach me whenever I am prepared to listen" (58).   She hands Ben books she's read and reread and loved, and she and Morrell discuss them together with Ben and learn from one another. Pondering literature alone and group discussion are key to shaping Bendigo's future. I love that as Ben listens to the others who are better read, who have traveled and seen more, he realizes how much he has to learn and it increases his desire to continue learning and gaining life experiences. 

• Ruth is strong, yet feminine. She doesn't give up or despair after she loses her husband, but moves forward with fortitude and hope and ambition as an entrepreneur on the frontier. She is a strong mother and mentor for her son and Bendigo and yet still feminine, neither too hard, nor too soft, a respected and trusted leader in the community, yet tender and caring.  

• Ruth expects the very best from Ben, and she uses him as an example to guide her own son. When Ben receives instruction to build Ruth's house she instructs her son, "You will help Mr. Shafter and learn from him. It is not every man who can build a house."  And Ben thinks, "Ruth Macken had a way of making a man feel large in his tracks, so what could I do but better than my best?" (5). 

• Ruth knows how to lift a man and make him feel special. "When he's your age I hope he is the man you are." And Ben writes, "Her words stayed with me, and even with the cold and blowing snow I felt strangely warm. Ruth Macken had a way of saying the right words when they were needed" (44). 

At the end of the book Bendigo draws the conclusion himself, "Ruth Macken was important to me.  Not in any romantic sense, and not simply for the books she had loaned me or the casual way she had guided me in many of the social graces. Ruth Macken may have never given a thought to instructing me, but she had set a standard of womanhood against which every woman I later was to know would be unconsciously measured. She was quietly beautiful, moving with an easy grace and confidence. She was tolerant, understanding, and intelligent, a good listener ready with apt comment; she understood my shyness and my eagerness to learn and overlooked my occasional clumsiness. (299-300).

There is a level of patience and love that has to be present to "overlook clumsiness" in boys which is part of what makes a woman safe to confide in and talk to, that, coupled with the ability to love and nurture. I appreciate this role this kind and strong young widow had on Bendigo's life.  It is easy to read Bendigo Shafter and say, "I want my son to grow up to be a man like that!" Who wouldn't? He's awesome.  There were many influences in his life,

"I want my son to grow up with a woman like that. And, oh!  I want that woman to be me."

Way to go Mr. L'Amour in creating this strong female mentor character in Ruth to help shape an amazingly strong, good and true young man. I hope I do as well to inspire greatness in my young boy. I think I see more L'Amour books in my reading future!

Parenting and Gardening

I really love gardening, like, a lot.

Yesterday I took a peaceful retreat to my garden following exercising. My two older kids were having some quiet time and the baby was sleeping, so I stepped into my garden for a little Mommy time to weed and think. I had a few good thoughts worth remembering while trying to weed the pea patch.

My peas have had a rough start.  I planted them plenty early, but I didn't get their supports and twine up until they had already grown a foot and a half tall, so they started trying to strangle each other in an effort to grow. To make matters worse, the whole crop was attacked by millions of aphids, nasty tickly creatures--no amount of ladybugs or assassin bugs could conquer these troops--so they had to be sprayed, and then I was a bit slow about weeding.  Yesterday proved to be a bit of a chore.

As I started in I found it difficult to determine what was weed and what was pea vine.  The late construction of the support system and weakness of my soul sucked plants meant that some of the peas were still tangled along the ground struggling to reach skyward. No climbing means no flowers, therefore no peas, so I had to help them out. I tried to carefully untangle them, but many vines were broken in the process. Once most were up though, I could kind of see the weeds so I attacked vigorously. And found myself accidentally pulling my plants up by the roots.  Some of these peas were several feet long and had grown curving in and around themselves and among the weeds. Their bottom stems had lost their leaves without light and dulled in color, camouflaging themselves in the weeds so I couldn't see what was or wasn't a weed or vine.  After re-planting several unfortunate peas (which are probably doomed), I was forced to slow down and carefully inspect each weed before pulling only one at a time.

This slower pace and my guilty pea murdering conscience started me on thinking about children and how they are like these pea plants.   They too start out very delicate, easily broken, requiring timely gentle guidance and support as they reach heavenward. When young, like the peas, they naturally reach upward, heavenly and innocent. But as they grow, they sway and must grab onto something strong, or they may fall,  become entangled, and forget which way is up.

Once peas are established they are strong and immovable and produce very good fruit.  But they need a strong scaffolding to climb, to support them as they grow. They need to be carefully weeded so they can have ample opportunity to receive nourishment from the sun and soak up water. They must remain clean of parasitic pests that would suck the life out of them.

I hope that as a parent, I am guiding my tender young children in such a way as to provide the scaffolding they need to reach heavenward and be strong.  A child's scaffolding is a little more intense than for the peas. It isn't built in just a day. It must be built everyday, piece by piece, prayer by prayer, one family home evening or scripture study at a time. One thoughtful discipline, one act of courage at a time.

I know generally how to build a scaffolding, but like with my garden this year, I also know that I will probably make some mistakes along the way. Every plant is different, and I might miss some weeds, or my little plants may get blighted, aphid-like, beyond my natural control. I hope that I may be in tune with the Master Gardener so I may know how best to help my tender plants. I don't want to get over excited and ferociously weed, pulling up their roots in a frightened frenzy. Ouch!

But if I do pull them up, I pray they might forgive me as we replant and try to repair the damage together with our Savior.

This child rearing thing is a very delicate business. I am quite a beginner, lacking patience at times with weeds that don't want to pull up or are too close to the vines, with plants that won't grab onto the scaffolding right when I expect them to. Some days you just have to let the garden rest and pray that it'll be okay. Some days the plants just need water, not weeding. Sometimes you just need to let the plants grow.

In the meantime, I work on my own scaffolding. I am a parent, but I am also a pea that is still growing, still reaching for heaven.  Still weeding, still watering, ever twisting closer to my Father in Heaven. In the end, I know my little peas will need to learn to continue reaching and building on their own.  We will be able to help each other, to support each other, but each individual plant has got to reach for the light and keep growing no matter what. Sometimes that is hard to remember to do.

I am a gardener, and I am a pea.  I build scaffolding for me and for them. I trust in the Master Gardener to help me grow and to help me nurture.

I love my gardens.

Gifts from Stake Conference

In my previous post I wrote that I want to seek learning during my church meetings with more faith and diligence. Well, here are my thoughts and things I want to remember from this weekend's stake conference:

"I want live my life so as to feel able to run towards the Savior when the second coming comes." ~Sister Debra Eckel, our Stake Relief Society President

I want that, too. I appreciated the themes of preparation and striving for holiness today so we can feel worthy to run to Jesus when he comes again.  President Ward told a story about a farmer who was interviewing a young man for a position as a hired hand. The farmer asked for his qualifications and the young man simply responded, "I can sleep when the wind blows." That was puzzling, but the farmer hired him anyway.  He seemed to be a good hard worker, and there were no problems. Finally one day a huge storm started to form and the wind started blowing extremely hard. The farmer ran to get his hired hand to start preparations to secure the farm and found the young man sleeping. He then remembered what the lad had said about being able to "sleep when the wind blows" and decided to leave him be and go check on the animals and farm alone.  He found everything in order, the animals secure, the hay bales tied down, the cellar doors locked.  The hired hand hadn't waited for the disaster to strike.  He was always prepared to meet it without fear.  He really could, "Sleep when the wind blows."

So, President Ward then asked us, "Can we sleep when the wind blows?"  That is an interesting thing to think about because we can apply that question temporally or spiritually.  I think we need to be constantly preparing for that wind to come in either case.

Taking it spiritually, Sister Eckel asked, "Do you have a 'deal breaker' a point where you think you'd throw in the towel when it comes to the gospel? Could something happen to you that is so hard, you would abandon your faith? She had a friend who tragically lost her son in a freak accident working as a park ranger, and that friend gave up all hope and became bitter. And Debra wondered at it, "Would I give up hope too?"  Well, years later she found herself in a similar situation--she lost her son.  It was very hard, but she held fast to the gospel. I think she was able to do that because she had continued nurturing her testimony and she was holding fast to the "iron rod," or word of God, as described in the parable of Lehi's dream in the Book of Mormon. She didn't let it go when times were easy, so she was still holding fast when times for tough. She was prepared for when the winds would blow. And they blow for all of us.

We had a visiting general authority with us this conference, Elder Larry Y. Wilson, and he talked in detail about holding fast to the iron rod in the Saturday night session. I was moved by this picture he shared:

He asked, "Is the hand about to take up the iron rod? Or is it just letting go?"  This picture shows either a glorious step towards Christ, or a tragedy. Hope or despair.

He also told about how he was able to take a hike to Yosemite National Park and hike up the back side of half dome, a mountain that was cut in half by a glacier many millenia ago. The cut front is a shear cliff, but even going up the backside, like they did, the last 600 feet are so steep that the park service has literally installed an iron rod for the hikers to hold to, to aid them to the top so they won't have to use technical climbing gear.

Where the rod starts, a park ranger is stationed to forewarn that every year some hiker gets about halfway up and lets go, falling to his death, even with the warning not to do that.  He implores you to hold fast and keep moving towards your goal to reach the summit.  Wow.

First I want to say, I would like to go hike half dome.  That sounds incredible!  Next, I want to say, WOW, what an awesome hands on lesson about the iron rod!

Today Elder Wilson also shared that a friend of his, a woman his age was talking about life, and she said her greatest regret was that she had not done more to teach her children the gospel in her home. That baffled him because she was a fabulous gospel teacher who had always magnified her callings, and her kids seemed to have learned the gospel. But she clarified that she wished that she had put just as much zeal and loving effort into simply teaching her family the gospel as she had in her calling.

I needed to hear that today.

I have no problem magnifying my church calling.  I serve as the Stake Music Chairmen and LOVE directing the choir and choosing music to uplift and bring the spirit to our meetings. I am a passionate musician, so it is easy to get caught up in this service. But I've seen my husband and children have to sacrifice because of my over-zealousness at times.  I can very easily be caught up in musical work, instead of the most important work, teaching and loving and being present with my own family.

Elder Wilson told how a young child one asked him, "Did Heavenly Father make the iron rod low enough so I can reach it?"

Yes.

Let me help you reach it, my child! Like Lehi, I want my family with me partaking of the fruit of the tree of life, enjoying that pure love of Christ together as a family unit.

Much was said of temples and holiness, and I wrote in my notes, "Let the children touch the temple, and let the temple touch you." A Swedish women on arriving at the temple put her hand on the exterior of the wall and spoke, "Lord, I have come to thy Holy House."  Saturday I got to attend the endowment of a young woman in my ward, a recent convert, who is soon to leave on her mission.  I am so excited for her. I hadn't been to the temple in too long, and appreciated the love and peace I felt in serving there.

It was reiterated to me again this conference that you can't teach what you don't know. I need to experience scholar phase in the gospel and in secular learning. Really, they are interconnected. You need a testimony to help others gain a testimony, and you inspire others by setting the example and studying to gaina testimony yourself. Sister Taylor, our Dallas Mission President's wife, said that the missionaries all come in with the goal to bring others unto Christ. Their biggest impact, though, is that they themselves are brought unto Christ. Their hearts are changed and their testimonies ignite like fire! I love that missionaries have a dedicated time to study daily those sacred things that they strive to teach to their investigators. You have to do the work to gain both spiritual and secular knowledge before you can lead others.

Saturday evening Elder Wilson shared how his friend Phil inspired him to teach by doing. Phil invited nonmembers who had been going to church with their spouses for years to read the Book of Mormon with him. They'd get together at his home or their homes and read two verses at a time back and forth and discuss. These men, after having attended church with their member spouses for 20 and 10 years respectively, never had the desire to get baptized until now, after gaining burning testimonies of the Book of Mormon, reading it with a mentor.

Inspire not require.

Elder Wilson was inspired by Phil's efforts and eventually followed his example and invited his friend investigating the gospel to read the Book of Mormon with him in his home. This friend admitted to never having read a single book since graduating high school thirty years previously. He was a little dyslexic, so reading was difficult--he had avoided doing it ever since. The reading sessions were painfully slow at first, reading and comprehension stumbling blocks in every single verse, not to mention there were lots of questions to stop and discuss since his friend had no spiritual foundation whatsoever. But, with time, eventually this friend's gospel understanding AND reading ability improved and improved. He, too, gained a burning testimony of the Book of Mormon and was baptized!!

These men didn't just give the assignment to their friends to read. Like good mentors, they jumped in and learned with the student. They had already gained their own testimonies of what they were reading and teaching, so they were able to mentor their friends as they worked to find their own testimonies. These folks needed someone to help them take the step. They needed someone willing to serve in this way.  This is how I can inspire my children.  "Go read that book and learn," has less impact than, "Let's read this book together and learn." Especially right now, while they're young.

President Ward counseled us to remember people's names, love without judging, and think about the golden rule as we relate with others whether they are acting rightly towards us or not, and to strive to make sincere friendships. I appreciated this counsel a lot.

Elder Wilson amazed me in this regard.  He was the concluding speaker in both sessions, and before sharing his prepared message, he lovingly reiterated the worth of the messages and spirit felt in every talk and musical number previous to his speaking. I was amazed at how actively he could listen, and how he could share his life experiences and scriptures to expound on what they had shared with such ease. He remembered and used the speaker's names while he spoke, and his messages were shared with love and praise to their efforts. When I met him, his praise for the music was sincere, and he remembered my baby's name several minutes after he was introduced to her. (He's a man... Yes, I was impressed.)

I especially loved his sharing a tidbit about the sacrament in response to a recent convert, Brother Wells, sharing his love for the sacrament. He said that he read an article in the national edition of the Deseret News where folks were asked to try and throw bean bags through different holes in a board and then they were to self report how many made it through the holes. There was a monetary reward for getting more bean bags through the holes. The first time, 80% of the people lied about how many bean bags they tossed through the holes.  The next time they ran the study, they reminded the participants about their moral obligations and asked them to sign a waiver promising they would report honestly. That time, 80% told the truth.  Just being reminded to be honest was a moral elevation to the study participants as a whole.

The sacrament is our weekly reminder. That renewal, that cleansing, can be "morally elevating" for us every week. The sacrament is a reminder through the bread and water representing the body and blood of Christ that we should strive to remember Him and keep His commandments so we can be more like Him. That was really powerful to me.  I hadn't ever quite thought of the sacrament like that before.  Like a written waiver signed in my heart to do better week by week.

I really loved and appreciated the insights I received from Stake Conference. I don't know if they are helpful to anyone else, but I need to record them for me so I don't forget!  The Lord will trust me with more knowledge if I am a good steward over what I have been given.  

Rethinking Sunday Worship

I have always loved attending church and listening to the uplifting messages every week, but recently I read something that's changed my perspective about church and other like meetings that have speakers and teachers. Basically, this person said that we ought to have a pen in hand while listening to speakers, to audio presentations, to podcasts, to other "lecture situations", so we can record any and all insights that will help us become better leaders and mentors, better able to succeed in our individual missions. Active, involved listening.

I've religiously written my thoughts in books I've been reading for some time, so I know that recording insights and impressions is extremely valuable. But audio presentations, not so much. While I've taken notes during the semi-annual General Conferences our church holds, and during the occasional motivational presentation, etc., it just hasn't occurred to me (until now) that I should treat ALL the opportunities to gain wisdom from others (at church) with enthusiasm, like they might be life changing events. I should listen like I may discover the answers to all my problems; I should come prepared and expect that the Lord just might speak to me through a shy, twelve-year-old youth speaker. Humbling... right? 

Essentially my perspective change is an Energy change; I've known a long time that the Holy Ghost can witness truths through his humble servants the prophets or even my next door neighbor.  I've just lacked enthusiasm for the simple, humble talk from my neighbor. Don't get me wrong, I love and appreciate everyone's talks, my point is that I haven't come expecting to gain something profound, ready to be inspired. I never forget my notepad when I go to a paid conference or when I have an opportunity to hear the prophet speak, but "Gee, I'm wonder what in our discussion during Sunday School is going to change my life today"... never really crossed my mind. I haven't prayerfully sought the Lord out with my current questions and problems before church on Sunday like I habitually would, for say, General Conference. 

That's a mistake!!  

Sacrament meeting is a beautiful place to receive inspiration, right after we have renewed all our baptismal covenants. Taken worthily, the sacrament is a special and sacred cleansing of our body and soul. The talks following it have all the potential in the world to be pivotal events.  With proper preparation, our Sunday School meetings and other meetings afterwards are an opportunity to learn and discuss the gospel with our peers. To often I attend these meetings ill-prepared, not having read and studied the pre-appointed scriptures and study material. I'm just cheating myself by not taking full advantage of these spiritual mentoring environments. I cheat myself and others by not fully participating in them. 

Stake Conferences and Ward Conferences are especially awesome opportunities for gaining inspiration. Our Stake President has the priesthood authority and responsibility to give us the specific council that we need to hear as a stake from the Lord. I know our Stake President doesn't take that responsibility lightly. He prepares to speak with earnest prayer in our behalf, and he labors over what he needs to say. He is mindful and diligent in his preparations. The additional speakers are selected prayerfully, and I think most of them also seek to have the spirit as they prepare for and later give their talks.  

I want to keep these things in mind as I'm preparing to attend these habitual meetings. Most Sundays my mind is in a rush just hoping to get to the early choir rehearsal on time (and unscathed by spit-up) and my thoughts are merely prayers that the wrestling match with my wiggle worms will end favorably, somewhat reverent.  I have felt beautiful, life changing feelings during Sunday meetings, even with the chaos of young children, but how many opportunities do I miss because I'm coming prepared to endure instead of prepared to learn? And when I do learn something, how often do I retain it by writing it down? Too often, I believe, I let those moments burn within my bosum for a small moment only to distractedly let them go so they float up and away, their memory only a vague impression on my heart. 

It's a pity.

I think my Heavenly Father wants me to come to church with a little more faith and enthusiasm.  He wants to teach me.  I think there is inspiration to be had listening in the foyer and bouncing a grumpy baby. There is inspiration in just trying to find inspiration in it.

So, I hope I'll find myself taking notes during the Primary program, during fast and testimony meeting, and during that shy little youth speaker's very first Sacrament meeting talk. I have faith that the spirit may speak to me through you. And I want to be ready to record those treasures when it does.

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." Matthew 7:7