Learning With My Children

Learning is so much fun. I don't want to forget some of the neat things we've been doing as a family, so I just want to list some of our adventures the past few months. You may notice a naturalistic theme because I feel that being outside and exploring nature, especially when young, inspires a natural curiosity and desire to learn about the beautiful world around us that is so important. And, I just love sharing my love of nature with my children!

• Richardson's Urban Naturalist Program This little section comes in part from an article I wrote for our local Neighborhood Association Newsletter. "I decided to register and take my kids to Breckinridge Park at 8:30 AM August 29th for the first fall Urban Naturalist Program guided walk “Geology Tells the Story, Past and Present.” Adults are $5, but kids 18 and under are free with a paid adult to chaperon.  I was a little nervous bringing my little ones, but we had a “rockin’” good time!  It was a pleasure meeting and visiting with other nature enthusiasts, and I learned so much just listening to the questions they asked our guide. The walk and talk was fascinating, and though we went off trail just a bit, the trek wasn’t too difficult for either the youngest or oldest members of our group.  My kids enjoyed learning about the white layers of fossil ridden limestone that line Rowlett Creek. Those layers are called the “Austin Chalk” and are 85 million years old!  The fossils in the layers tell the story of when this entire area was covered by the sea. My five year old found a bivalve fossil to keep, and we took some pictures of inoceramus (pictured above) embedded in the rock.  Later some members of the party uncovered some iron disulfide. . . pyrite!  We enjoyed checking out the “fools gold” together.  I can tell you this will not be our last walk with the Urban Naturalist Program!"  End formal newsletter portion... 

I soon discovered during our Geology walk, that the many knowledgeable folks we had with us were kind and willing to answer all our questions about ALL the different plants we were seeing. Seriously, someone in our group could ID anything we asked, and it was so much fun.  Pictured at the left is frostweed which has neat "fins" along the stems, and which will split open during a hard sudden freeze because the sap will expand and essentially explode the plant.  I learned something new! Awesome!! 

 Pictured to the right is a rain lily, so named because it only blooms after a soaking rain.  We were so lucky to see it as we had a very cooling rain the night before after a dry spell, and it was still damp and misty during our hike which was a blessing. Otherwise my kids and I would not have enjoyed this end of August hike in Texas nearly so much! I had no idea that rain lilies existed in this small patch of blackland prairie here in our city (or at all...)  How sweet!   It was such a pleasure to enjoy the company of so many people willing to share their passions and expertise about the beautiful world we live in.  I love learning the names of the plants and animals that I see around me. I feel more connected to the earth, more one with nature.  We'll be back to enjoy more from our urban naturalist program here in the city!

Sampling of some low point value shells you can
trade for at the Nature Exchange in the Dallas Zoo.
My son recently picked out a jingle shell
for his growing collection.

• Nature Exchange at the Dallas Zoo  I think I love this more than my kids.  In the children's zoo is a fabulous little building filled with displays and boxes of rocks, shells, bones, teeth, fossils, pressed leaves, nuts, owl pellets, pinned insects, etc. etc. etc. all things natural (except anything having to do with birds... as many are protected), and each of these items have point values attached to them. Participants can come in and trade up to five nature items (found outside the zoo) per visit for points which they can exchange to take home something from the zoo's ample collection. You can save up your points in their system for a large ticket item (say, a polished geode or full animal skeleton), or exchange points immediately for something more common, as you wish. There are also free item boxes, from which you can take one specimen per visit, often filled with things that other people have brought in to trade that they have a surplus of.  The act of exchanging is SO EXCITING because we get to sit down with a professional during our exchange to learn about the items we brought it. My kids and I really enjoy telling about where we find our items, how we found them, and then the naturalist will teach us something about our item.  At our last exchange we cut open a gall my son found (at this point, I didn't even know what a gall was... which is why we brought it in to find out). Inside, we found wasp larvae which we got to check out under their SWEET microscope that projects onto a flat screen TV.  We've also brought in seeds, rocks, bones, and fossils that we've been unable to identify and we've had a blast learning about these items with the helpers at the zoo.  The room also has a wall of books to peruse to help identify objects we've found and learn more about the world around us. (Nerd alert) Yes, I take my children to the zoo and we go sit in this room and read books...and it's hard to peel them away.  We love it!

Some of the contents of my daughter's pockets from a recent hiking expedition. . .found in the wash. Just the kind of things we like to take to the Nature Exchange to trade and learn about. In my palm is a Texigryphaea mucronata (Devil's Toenail) which is a common fossilized oyster found here in Texas and is anywhere from 200 to 150 million years old. In the center is a periwinkle shell, and up top is an unidentified bone probably from a small rodent.

•  Local hikes (Yes, Dallas has some natural wonders left around town!) are some of our favorite activities. These pictures are from a hike we took in Erwin Park in McKinney. We saw gorgeous wildflowers, and we spent a lot of time trying to catch large tadpoles in the pond there. I didn't get a picture, but we also observed a tree full of wild bees on this hike. So fascinating! 

If you can identify these flowers from our Erwin Park hike,
you will win points in my book. (And I'm cool, so my points count... ;-)

• Backyard Explorations   One of my favorite things to do with the kids is say, "Let's go find some bugs. And we just go outside and search.  We had a lot of rain in the spring, so we had a lot more snails than we usually do.  This little guy was just chilling on our driveway. We've caught and observed many insects, spiders, arthropods, and mollusks all from our tiny yard. Good times...  These butterflies were actually at the Dallas Zoo along the Wild's of Africa trail... three in one picture, how cool!!

• Family Gardening  Something wonderful I learned growing up with my parents that I'm passing on to my kids.  A natural way to learn work ethic, learn about patience, learn to prepare a plan and execute it, learn to love eating green things, learn discipline in daily chores, and in all, learn gratitude for the hard workers who produce the rest of what we consume every day. Most of us sure have it easy getting food here in the United States!  Gardening for me is also relaxing, a peaceful way to connect to the earth, a time where I mediate and ponder on spiritual things (yeah, while I weed.) It's a fine way to watch the wonders of nature as a seed grows and eventually produces a bountiful harvest.  Here are two pictures of our yield this year.  We had enough cucumbers to put up several quarts of dill pickles, and (not pictured) plenty of beets for beet pickles, too! 

I have more pictures of more things we've learned about and done in our home school recently, including some indoor stuff, ha! But I'm getting tired and I think some of them really deserve their own blog postings. But here's to having a great time finding joy in the journey every day. Outside, inside, with friends, or alone, learning and doing things we are interested in and passionate about. Inspiring children to learn by being excited about learning ourselves. 

And, P.S. we read like crazy, do math, music, learn about history and say the Pledge of Allegiance, etc... too. I'm just sharing some of the learning that's MINE... which is how I best inspire. 

Ruth Macken: My New Mentoring Hero!

Delving into the classics again guys, and I came out ahead! I'll introduce Ruth in a minute. . .

I just finished reading my first Louis L'Amour!  I have to say I was super impressed with Bendigo Shafter.  I read it expecting a wild west story, full of gun-slinging and bravado, and it didn't disappoint in that regard, but I was extremely surprised by the depth and sincerity in this book.

Bendigo Shafter is chock full of educational genius for mentors and mentees alike! We follow Bendigo as he "comes of age" growing from a boy to man who is good and strong and true on the American frontier. My pen and highlighter were speeding along on hyper-drive, trying to record every spec of wisdom.  There is SO MUCH to ponder and discuss in this book; I'm a little overwhelmed by it all.  I'm glad I marked up my copy so I can learn and re-learn, and think about how I can help my little boy grow into a man that is morally good, who is strong and courageous in the face of adversity, and who is humble and true in all things. This is a must read for growing boys and their mentors.  

And did Bendigo ever have mentors! He had his father, his brother Cain, Morrell, Ethan, Uruwishi, and other men he respected and looked to for advice and guidance, but I was particularly struck by Mrs. Ruth Macken. This young widow takes Bendigo under her wing as he's thirsting for knowledge and quietly guides him to seek learning from the masters, to discuss the classics, and encourages him to think and ponder and to come to his own conclusions about life and self.

• "Ruth Macken knew of my longing for knowledge, of my longing for a larger brighter world somewhere in the distance. She was a woman to whom a boy might talk of things dreamed. There was understanding in her, and sympathy. Also, I thought, there was a longing in her for the same things" (25).  Like Ruth, I want the empathy to see into the hearts of my boys and be understanding and safe to "talk of things dreamed".  I love that she has a "longing in her for the same things," that she longed to continue reading and learning, and to see the world and her circumstances change for the better.  

• I appreciate her strong beliefs on education. "Of course we must have a school, but the building is less important than the teacher. It is the teacher who makes the school, no matter how magnificent the building.  A school is wherever a man can learn, Mr. Shafter, do not forget that" (25).  I agree with her, that one can learn anywhere and everywhere. It doesn't matter how big and grand the building, the technology, or funding for a school is. The teacher's ability to mentor and continue learning, (and just as importantly) the learner's desire and diligence matter most.  You can put them in an empty horse stall to discuss a few good books and the learning can be marvelous. Now, I believe establishing safe environments conducive to learning is important, but it doesn't matter whether that environment is a private home or a state-of-the-art classroom so long as the mentor is able and the student is willing and ready to learn. 

• I love how Ruth helps Ben come face to face with greatness. " I believe you will enjoy the book, Mr. Shafter, and you will enjoy meeting Mr. Thoreau.  "He's here?" I was surprised. "In the book." She smiled at me... "In that trunk I have some of the greatest minds in the world, ready to talk to me or teach me whenever I am prepared to listen" (58).   She hands Ben books she's read and reread and loved, and she and Morrell discuss them together with Ben and learn from one another. Pondering literature alone and group discussion are key to shaping Bendigo's future. I love that as Ben listens to the others who are better read, who have traveled and seen more, he realizes how much he has to learn and it increases his desire to continue learning and gaining life experiences. 

• Ruth is strong, yet feminine. She doesn't give up or despair after she loses her husband, but moves forward with fortitude and hope and ambition as an entrepreneur on the frontier. She is a strong mother and mentor for her son and Bendigo and yet still feminine, neither too hard, nor too soft, a respected and trusted leader in the community, yet tender and caring.  

• Ruth expects the very best from Ben, and she uses him as an example to guide her own son. When Ben receives instruction to build Ruth's house she instructs her son, "You will help Mr. Shafter and learn from him. It is not every man who can build a house."  And Ben thinks, "Ruth Macken had a way of making a man feel large in his tracks, so what could I do but better than my best?" (5). 

• Ruth knows how to lift a man and make him feel special. "When he's your age I hope he is the man you are." And Ben writes, "Her words stayed with me, and even with the cold and blowing snow I felt strangely warm. Ruth Macken had a way of saying the right words when they were needed" (44). 

At the end of the book Bendigo draws the conclusion himself, "Ruth Macken was important to me.  Not in any romantic sense, and not simply for the books she had loaned me or the casual way she had guided me in many of the social graces. Ruth Macken may have never given a thought to instructing me, but she had set a standard of womanhood against which every woman I later was to know would be unconsciously measured. She was quietly beautiful, moving with an easy grace and confidence. She was tolerant, understanding, and intelligent, a good listener ready with apt comment; she understood my shyness and my eagerness to learn and overlooked my occasional clumsiness. (299-300).

There is a level of patience and love that has to be present to "overlook clumsiness" in boys which is part of what makes a woman safe to confide in and talk to, that, coupled with the ability to love and nurture. I appreciate this role this kind and strong young widow had on Bendigo's life.  It is easy to read Bendigo Shafter and say, "I want my son to grow up to be a man like that!" Who wouldn't? He's awesome.  There were many influences in his life,

"I want my son to grow up with a woman like that. And, oh!  I want that woman to be me."

Way to go Mr. L'Amour in creating this strong female mentor character in Ruth to help shape an amazingly strong, good and true young man. I hope I do as well to inspire greatness in my young boy. I think I see more L'Amour books in my reading future!

Parenting and Gardening

I really love gardening, like, a lot.

Yesterday I took a peaceful retreat to my garden following exercising. My two older kids were having some quiet time and the baby was sleeping, so I stepped into my garden for a little Mommy time to weed and think. I had a few good thoughts worth remembering while trying to weed the pea patch.

My peas have had a rough start.  I planted them plenty early, but I didn't get their supports and twine up until they had already grown a foot and a half tall, so they started trying to strangle each other in an effort to grow. To make matters worse, the whole crop was attacked by millions of aphids, nasty tickly creatures--no amount of ladybugs or assassin bugs could conquer these troops--so they had to be sprayed, and then I was a bit slow about weeding.  Yesterday proved to be a bit of a chore.

As I started in I found it difficult to determine what was weed and what was pea vine.  The late construction of the support system and weakness of my soul sucked plants meant that some of the peas were still tangled along the ground struggling to reach skyward. No climbing means no flowers, therefore no peas, so I had to help them out. I tried to carefully untangle them, but many vines were broken in the process. Once most were up though, I could kind of see the weeds so I attacked vigorously. And found myself accidentally pulling my plants up by the roots.  Some of these peas were several feet long and had grown curving in and around themselves and among the weeds. Their bottom stems had lost their leaves without light and dulled in color, camouflaging themselves in the weeds so I couldn't see what was or wasn't a weed or vine.  After re-planting several unfortunate peas (which are probably doomed), I was forced to slow down and carefully inspect each weed before pulling only one at a time.

This slower pace and my guilty pea murdering conscience started me on thinking about children and how they are like these pea plants.   They too start out very delicate, easily broken, requiring timely gentle guidance and support as they reach heavenward. When young, like the peas, they naturally reach upward, heavenly and innocent. But as they grow, they sway and must grab onto something strong, or they may fall,  become entangled, and forget which way is up.

Once peas are established they are strong and immovable and produce very good fruit.  But they need a strong scaffolding to climb, to support them as they grow. They need to be carefully weeded so they can have ample opportunity to receive nourishment from the sun and soak up water. They must remain clean of parasitic pests that would suck the life out of them.

I hope that as a parent, I am guiding my tender young children in such a way as to provide the scaffolding they need to reach heavenward and be strong.  A child's scaffolding is a little more intense than for the peas. It isn't built in just a day. It must be built everyday, piece by piece, prayer by prayer, one family home evening or scripture study at a time. One thoughtful discipline, one act of courage at a time.

I know generally how to build a scaffolding, but like with my garden this year, I also know that I will probably make some mistakes along the way. Every plant is different, and I might miss some weeds, or my little plants may get blighted, aphid-like, beyond my natural control. I hope that I may be in tune with the Master Gardener so I may know how best to help my tender plants. I don't want to get over excited and ferociously weed, pulling up their roots in a frightened frenzy. Ouch!

But if I do pull them up, I pray they might forgive me as we replant and try to repair the damage together with our Savior.

This child rearing thing is a very delicate business. I am quite a beginner, lacking patience at times with weeds that don't want to pull up or are too close to the vines, with plants that won't grab onto the scaffolding right when I expect them to. Some days you just have to let the garden rest and pray that it'll be okay. Some days the plants just need water, not weeding. Sometimes you just need to let the plants grow.

In the meantime, I work on my own scaffolding. I am a parent, but I am also a pea that is still growing, still reaching for heaven.  Still weeding, still watering, ever twisting closer to my Father in Heaven. In the end, I know my little peas will need to learn to continue reaching and building on their own.  We will be able to help each other, to support each other, but each individual plant has got to reach for the light and keep growing no matter what. Sometimes that is hard to remember to do.

I am a gardener, and I am a pea.  I build scaffolding for me and for them. I trust in the Master Gardener to help me grow and to help me nurture.

I love my gardens.

Gifts from Stake Conference

In my previous post I wrote that I want to seek learning during my church meetings with more faith and diligence. Well, here are my thoughts and things I want to remember from this weekend's stake conference:

"I want live my life so as to feel able to run towards the Savior when the second coming comes." ~Sister Debra Eckel, our Stake Relief Society President

I want that, too. I appreciated the themes of preparation and striving for holiness today so we can feel worthy to run to Jesus when he comes again.  President Ward told a story about a farmer who was interviewing a young man for a position as a hired hand. The farmer asked for his qualifications and the young man simply responded, "I can sleep when the wind blows." That was puzzling, but the farmer hired him anyway.  He seemed to be a good hard worker, and there were no problems. Finally one day a huge storm started to form and the wind started blowing extremely hard. The farmer ran to get his hired hand to start preparations to secure the farm and found the young man sleeping. He then remembered what the lad had said about being able to "sleep when the wind blows" and decided to leave him be and go check on the animals and farm alone.  He found everything in order, the animals secure, the hay bales tied down, the cellar doors locked.  The hired hand hadn't waited for the disaster to strike.  He was always prepared to meet it without fear.  He really could, "Sleep when the wind blows."

So, President Ward then asked us, "Can we sleep when the wind blows?"  That is an interesting thing to think about because we can apply that question temporally or spiritually.  I think we need to be constantly preparing for that wind to come in either case.

Taking it spiritually, Sister Eckel asked, "Do you have a 'deal breaker' a point where you think you'd throw in the towel when it comes to the gospel? Could something happen to you that is so hard, you would abandon your faith? She had a friend who tragically lost her son in a freak accident working as a park ranger, and that friend gave up all hope and became bitter. And Debra wondered at it, "Would I give up hope too?"  Well, years later she found herself in a similar situation--she lost her son.  It was very hard, but she held fast to the gospel. I think she was able to do that because she had continued nurturing her testimony and she was holding fast to the "iron rod," or word of God, as described in the parable of Lehi's dream in the Book of Mormon. She didn't let it go when times were easy, so she was still holding fast when times for tough. She was prepared for when the winds would blow. And they blow for all of us.

We had a visiting general authority with us this conference, Elder Larry Y. Wilson, and he talked in detail about holding fast to the iron rod in the Saturday night session. I was moved by this picture he shared:

He asked, "Is the hand about to take up the iron rod? Or is it just letting go?"  This picture shows either a glorious step towards Christ, or a tragedy. Hope or despair.

He also told about how he was able to take a hike to Yosemite National Park and hike up the back side of half dome, a mountain that was cut in half by a glacier many millenia ago. The cut front is a shear cliff, but even going up the backside, like they did, the last 600 feet are so steep that the park service has literally installed an iron rod for the hikers to hold to, to aid them to the top so they won't have to use technical climbing gear.

Where the rod starts, a park ranger is stationed to forewarn that every year some hiker gets about halfway up and lets go, falling to his death, even with the warning not to do that.  He implores you to hold fast and keep moving towards your goal to reach the summit.  Wow.

First I want to say, I would like to go hike half dome.  That sounds incredible!  Next, I want to say, WOW, what an awesome hands on lesson about the iron rod!

Today Elder Wilson also shared that a friend of his, a woman his age was talking about life, and she said her greatest regret was that she had not done more to teach her children the gospel in her home. That baffled him because she was a fabulous gospel teacher who had always magnified her callings, and her kids seemed to have learned the gospel. But she clarified that she wished that she had put just as much zeal and loving effort into simply teaching her family the gospel as she had in her calling.

I needed to hear that today.

I have no problem magnifying my church calling.  I serve as the Stake Music Chairmen and LOVE directing the choir and choosing music to uplift and bring the spirit to our meetings. I am a passionate musician, so it is easy to get caught up in this service. But I've seen my husband and children have to sacrifice because of my over-zealousness at times.  I can very easily be caught up in musical work, instead of the most important work, teaching and loving and being present with my own family.

Elder Wilson told how a young child one asked him, "Did Heavenly Father make the iron rod low enough so I can reach it?"

Yes.

Let me help you reach it, my child! Like Lehi, I want my family with me partaking of the fruit of the tree of life, enjoying that pure love of Christ together as a family unit.

Much was said of temples and holiness, and I wrote in my notes, "Let the children touch the temple, and let the temple touch you." A Swedish women on arriving at the temple put her hand on the exterior of the wall and spoke, "Lord, I have come to thy Holy House."  Saturday I got to attend the endowment of a young woman in my ward, a recent convert, who is soon to leave on her mission.  I am so excited for her. I hadn't been to the temple in too long, and appreciated the love and peace I felt in serving there.

It was reiterated to me again this conference that you can't teach what you don't know. I need to experience scholar phase in the gospel and in secular learning. Really, they are interconnected. You need a testimony to help others gain a testimony, and you inspire others by setting the example and studying to gaina testimony yourself. Sister Taylor, our Dallas Mission President's wife, said that the missionaries all come in with the goal to bring others unto Christ. Their biggest impact, though, is that they themselves are brought unto Christ. Their hearts are changed and their testimonies ignite like fire! I love that missionaries have a dedicated time to study daily those sacred things that they strive to teach to their investigators. You have to do the work to gain both spiritual and secular knowledge before you can lead others.

Saturday evening Elder Wilson shared how his friend Phil inspired him to teach by doing. Phil invited nonmembers who had been going to church with their spouses for years to read the Book of Mormon with him. They'd get together at his home or their homes and read two verses at a time back and forth and discuss. These men, after having attended church with their member spouses for 20 and 10 years respectively, never had the desire to get baptized until now, after gaining burning testimonies of the Book of Mormon, reading it with a mentor.

Inspire not require.

Elder Wilson was inspired by Phil's efforts and eventually followed his example and invited his friend investigating the gospel to read the Book of Mormon with him in his home. This friend admitted to never having read a single book since graduating high school thirty years previously. He was a little dyslexic, so reading was difficult--he had avoided doing it ever since. The reading sessions were painfully slow at first, reading and comprehension stumbling blocks in every single verse, not to mention there were lots of questions to stop and discuss since his friend had no spiritual foundation whatsoever. But, with time, eventually this friend's gospel understanding AND reading ability improved and improved. He, too, gained a burning testimony of the Book of Mormon and was baptized!!

These men didn't just give the assignment to their friends to read. Like good mentors, they jumped in and learned with the student. They had already gained their own testimonies of what they were reading and teaching, so they were able to mentor their friends as they worked to find their own testimonies. These folks needed someone to help them take the step. They needed someone willing to serve in this way.  This is how I can inspire my children.  "Go read that book and learn," has less impact than, "Let's read this book together and learn." Especially right now, while they're young.

President Ward counseled us to remember people's names, love without judging, and think about the golden rule as we relate with others whether they are acting rightly towards us or not, and to strive to make sincere friendships. I appreciated this counsel a lot.

Elder Wilson amazed me in this regard.  He was the concluding speaker in both sessions, and before sharing his prepared message, he lovingly reiterated the worth of the messages and spirit felt in every talk and musical number previous to his speaking. I was amazed at how actively he could listen, and how he could share his life experiences and scriptures to expound on what they had shared with such ease. He remembered and used the speaker's names while he spoke, and his messages were shared with love and praise to their efforts. When I met him, his praise for the music was sincere, and he remembered my baby's name several minutes after he was introduced to her. (He's a man... Yes, I was impressed.)

I especially loved his sharing a tidbit about the sacrament in response to a recent convert, Brother Wells, sharing his love for the sacrament. He said that he read an article in the national edition of the Deseret News where folks were asked to try and throw bean bags through different holes in a board and then they were to self report how many made it through the holes. There was a monetary reward for getting more bean bags through the holes. The first time, 80% of the people lied about how many bean bags they tossed through the holes.  The next time they ran the study, they reminded the participants about their moral obligations and asked them to sign a waiver promising they would report honestly. That time, 80% told the truth.  Just being reminded to be honest was a moral elevation to the study participants as a whole.

The sacrament is our weekly reminder. That renewal, that cleansing, can be "morally elevating" for us every week. The sacrament is a reminder through the bread and water representing the body and blood of Christ that we should strive to remember Him and keep His commandments so we can be more like Him. That was really powerful to me.  I hadn't ever quite thought of the sacrament like that before.  Like a written waiver signed in my heart to do better week by week.

I really loved and appreciated the insights I received from Stake Conference. I don't know if they are helpful to anyone else, but I need to record them for me so I don't forget!  The Lord will trust me with more knowledge if I am a good steward over what I have been given.  

Rethinking Sunday Worship

I have always loved attending church and listening to the uplifting messages every week, but recently I read something that's changed my perspective about church and other like meetings that have speakers and teachers. Basically, this person said that we ought to have a pen in hand while listening to speakers, to audio presentations, to podcasts, to other "lecture situations", so we can record any and all insights that will help us become better leaders and mentors, better able to succeed in our individual missions. Active, involved listening.

I've religiously written my thoughts in books I've been reading for some time, so I know that recording insights and impressions is extremely valuable. But audio presentations, not so much. While I've taken notes during the semi-annual General Conferences our church holds, and during the occasional motivational presentation, etc., it just hasn't occurred to me (until now) that I should treat ALL the opportunities to gain wisdom from others (at church) with enthusiasm, like they might be life changing events. I should listen like I may discover the answers to all my problems; I should come prepared and expect that the Lord just might speak to me through a shy, twelve-year-old youth speaker. Humbling... right? 

Essentially my perspective change is an Energy change; I've known a long time that the Holy Ghost can witness truths through his humble servants the prophets or even my next door neighbor.  I've just lacked enthusiasm for the simple, humble talk from my neighbor. Don't get me wrong, I love and appreciate everyone's talks, my point is that I haven't come expecting to gain something profound, ready to be inspired. I never forget my notepad when I go to a paid conference or when I have an opportunity to hear the prophet speak, but "Gee, I'm wonder what in our discussion during Sunday School is going to change my life today"... never really crossed my mind. I haven't prayerfully sought the Lord out with my current questions and problems before church on Sunday like I habitually would, for say, General Conference. 

That's a mistake!!  

Sacrament meeting is a beautiful place to receive inspiration, right after we have renewed all our baptismal covenants. Taken worthily, the sacrament is a special and sacred cleansing of our body and soul. The talks following it have all the potential in the world to be pivotal events.  With proper preparation, our Sunday School meetings and other meetings afterwards are an opportunity to learn and discuss the gospel with our peers. To often I attend these meetings ill-prepared, not having read and studied the pre-appointed scriptures and study material. I'm just cheating myself by not taking full advantage of these spiritual mentoring environments. I cheat myself and others by not fully participating in them. 

Stake Conferences and Ward Conferences are especially awesome opportunities for gaining inspiration. Our Stake President has the priesthood authority and responsibility to give us the specific council that we need to hear as a stake from the Lord. I know our Stake President doesn't take that responsibility lightly. He prepares to speak with earnest prayer in our behalf, and he labors over what he needs to say. He is mindful and diligent in his preparations. The additional speakers are selected prayerfully, and I think most of them also seek to have the spirit as they prepare for and later give their talks.  

I want to keep these things in mind as I'm preparing to attend these habitual meetings. Most Sundays my mind is in a rush just hoping to get to the early choir rehearsal on time (and unscathed by spit-up) and my thoughts are merely prayers that the wrestling match with my wiggle worms will end favorably, somewhat reverent.  I have felt beautiful, life changing feelings during Sunday meetings, even with the chaos of young children, but how many opportunities do I miss because I'm coming prepared to endure instead of prepared to learn? And when I do learn something, how often do I retain it by writing it down? Too often, I believe, I let those moments burn within my bosum for a small moment only to distractedly let them go so they float up and away, their memory only a vague impression on my heart. 

It's a pity.

I think my Heavenly Father wants me to come to church with a little more faith and enthusiasm.  He wants to teach me.  I think there is inspiration to be had listening in the foyer and bouncing a grumpy baby. There is inspiration in just trying to find inspiration in it.

So, I hope I'll find myself taking notes during the Primary program, during fast and testimony meeting, and during that shy little youth speaker's very first Sacrament meeting talk. I have faith that the spirit may speak to me through you. And I want to be ready to record those treasures when it does.

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." Matthew 7:7

The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways

I think the Lord knows that I am a little hard-headed.  I've had a couple of neat experiences of late akin to Corrie Ten Boom's "fleas" that didn't at first seem very exciting, but have proved to be great blessings.

First, here are the blessings:  My home is now clean and set-up for home schooling.  We have created a much healthier environment for learning. A lot of little improvements on our house are also in the works.  It is good to make progress...  These are things that we could have done easily without any "fleas" except I'm so hard headed. . .

The Lord knows me.

He knows I hate change. A few weeks ago I started reading a book entitled, "Leadership Education" by Oliver and Rachel DeMille, and within it are 55 ingredients they have found to be essential to set up the best possible home environment for folks in core and love of learning phases to gain a great leadership education. (Explanation on phases of learning here.)  These ingredients are awesome. You can tell that the DeMilles have really sought for inspiration as they've continued their own educations and mentored their children and others. I've really enjoyed learning about and starting to practice a lot of these ingredients slowly with our family.

There were a few, though, that I just sat on the back burner and said, "I can't. Not now... too hard." All the ingredients particularizing the organization of a leadership education home: The Family Room, The Closet, The Entertainment Room, The Bookshelf.   These I knew were important, but I couldn't see how I would do it.  I teach voice lessons in the pretty front living room, so I didn't want the TV there, but at the same time, I knew having all the big comfy couches in our family room facing the television set as they currently were was not a good educational environment in the least. Your couches face what you value most. All hail the television set? Oh dear!  And I thought, "A locking closet for school activities? How and where? My cabinets are full. My shelves are full. Most of the books are on the built in bookshelves in my bedroom." I knew they needed to be more accessible to the family at large, but how? No room in the family room. No room anywhere.

I said to myself, "I know this is important. I know that there are changes that need to be made, but I just can't do it.  I don't see an easy solution."  And I set it aside.

And then my husband's job changed.

Suddenly he was faced with a longer commute, possible higher pay, and he, being an advocate for healthy change, suggested that we start looking around at houses with the possibility to get some land up closer to where he would be working.

He sold me at "Get some land."  I come from farming stock, and while we've made do with our small suburban lot, the idea of having somewhere for my kids to run, and play, and do real family work more safely, and more freely was extremely tantalizing.  So we looked at some houses, we gave it some prayer, and we both felt like we received the answer, "Get your house ready to sell."

Uh, okay.

So we started that stressful, horrible process, fired up by our intent on putting an offer on a spacious house we quickly found with fantastic storage accommodations on about two acres of land with very pretty trees, backing up to a bubbling creek, and including with a large workshop built on to the garage, that close to work, close to church, and close to a great library but in a quiet, peaceful location.

To make a long story slightly shorter, I packed up our entire house, in order for us to get new carpet laid, so it would be easier to sell. We wanted to save money so we moved all the furniture with some friends help and ripped the carpet out ourselves. We have two young children and a baby, people, so this was no small feat.  At the same time, we ripped off a section of rotting siding from the house to replace, dug old unsightly deck posts out of the yard, and since I was the one packing I made some important decisions about the large amounts of stuff we somehow had accumulated in our house these last several years. The prospect of moving suddenly turns a lot of "treasures" into junk, haha!  You know it is a truly successful "purge" if you have to go to the donation center three or more times.  Wow.

During the middle of this process we found out that the dream house we wanted was not going to be a possibility for us.  No bank would finance it for a number of reasons that I won't go into here.  Here were the fleas, and my tears, and a lot of feelings of "WHY? are we going through this right now??"

Be grateful in all circumstances.

We kept looking for houses. I realize now as I look back on it, every time I was ready to give up and postpone getting the carpet and moving things around, a new house would catch my interest and I'd keep plowing along, packing and prepping the house for sell, just in case.  The weekend we got the carpet in, my older kids were at my folks' house for super fun Grandma and Grandpa time, so I got to thinking (really thinking since there were no kids talking)... everything is moved out.  How do I want to move it back in?

Leadership Education style... that's how!  I thought, "We may not be here for long, but we can attempt a different organization and see how it goes. Can't hurt anything, right?"

Change accomplished.

The front living room is now home for our computers, TV, piano, speakers, etc, and has officially been knighted "The Entertainment Room."  We use said entertainment less often, and it feels good. And my concern about voice lessons? They've been rearranged so that there is space between lessons for mom and kid time/baby feeding time rather than being back to back as a long block on lesson day. We don't even miss babysitter TV (usually).  It is better to help the kids find good activities to do during those short lessons anyway.  Victory!

The Family Room couches and recliner are now closer together and facing one another about ten feet apart in front of our cozy fireplace over which hangs a picture of Jesus Christ.  Good bye television idol, and hello cozy reading and discussion zone! Our couches face what is important, members of our family and our Savior, both things that warm my heart, like the cozy fire in the fireplace also within that circle. Freeing up wall space by moving the couches made room for a table and large bookshelf in the Family Room, doubling as the school room, that used to be upstairs in the craft/guest room, which was an under utilized room.

About that old craft room: We got rid of the guest bed in the "moving" purge, so we moved all the toys into the center room... now the "Play Room," and moved the girls to the old guest bedroom.  The entire upper level of our home is now useful instead of a storage and toy disaster.  It is so much easier to help the children clean one room together, the play room, rather than clean up and organize toys in separate rooms. Just beds and clothes are in their bedrooms. How nice and restful! The kids helped make this organizational decision and seem to like the results, too.  They always play together anyway, so there is no real need to separate toys. Added bonus for me, the playroom looks full ... we are less likely to get more and more toys that multiply like bunnies (stuffed animals, etc.), when it looks like we have enough toys already. Yay!

With the move of the TV to another room, I moved the media with it, freeing up a large child-locked cabinet in the living room with many shelves. School supplies and art supplies from the craft room are now on these shelves. I also reorganized music, games, and many activities and chose to put "school time only" things in a locking pine chest that used to house music I never looked at (which will soon be gone through carefully and re-homed).

I could keep going with this, but won't.  Essentially, my entire home is reorganized (nearly) in a way that makes WAY MORE SENSE for our family.  We utilize rooms properly, have the most important schooling things all in one room (rather than in multiple locations all over the house), and since we got rid of tons of stuff, it is a lot easier to clean up everyday.

AND, the urge to move is gone for now. Maybe we'll get some land someday, but for now things are looking pretty good where we are.  It took the urge to move in order for us to actually get organized for leadership education in our home. It took new carpet because all the moving around wouldn't have been worth it without doing that. Terrible pet stains from previous owners and some from our own pet (now Grandma's beloved pet) made the new carpet essential.  I'm grateful that we looked for houses, that we got new carpet, and that now I'm much more organized.

The Lord works in Mysterious Ways...

Rumors can stop flying.  We're sticking around for now.

The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom

If you've never read, "The Hiding Place" you need to.  I needed to again, and I'm glad that I did! It is full of miracles that reaffirm over and over God's love for His children, and how he supports us through our trials.  He really is in control.

Here's a facebook post I wrote about this book, emphasizing some of those miracles:

This is the second time I have read this book, and once again it has touched my life, but in ways different than it did the first time. Now I am a mother with three young children rather than a seventeen year old just finishing high school, and my needs are different. I was amazed most by the miracles. So many miracles. Corrie's visions to prepare her for the difficult future ahead, Annaliese's protection after Nollie's terrifying display of honesty, the many times Corrie wasn't searched allowing her to keep her precious Bible and vitamins, the unending supply of vitamin drops that lasted just until another source of vitamins was available, the cramping allowing Betsie and Corrie to stow away the Bible early in the bathroom before stripping down for Ravensbruck, and the ever present fleas that protected their ministry of hope in Barracks 28. Like Corrie, I wouldn't have been able to comprehend all those miracles. I tend, like her, to try and overthink and find an explanation. Betsie showed perfect faith in God's plan, and she saw the good in everything. She makes me want to peer harder at my own life, which I'm sure is just filled with miracles that I overlook daily.

Betsie really exemplifies a magnificent faith, a faith that I want to have. I want to see the good that I can do everyday with the situation I have been given. "There is a time and a season." The time is now and the season is now to find happiness and do good in the world the way in which I am given by God to be able to serve. For me, yeah there are a lot of things that I'm not doing right at this minute because I have only babies and core phase kiddos at home with me, but there is an awful lot of awesomeness that comes with this time that I often miss out on in the tired day to day struggle being patient with tiny people craziness. If Betsie could feel love for her captors, have a desire to serve others, and find reason to look forward with hope, despite her being sick, abused, and later dying there at Ravensbruck, I can take my comparably beautifully blessed life and grow in patience and love and gratitude following her example.

Love this book. What a classic.

Those were some thoughts I had directly correlating to the book immediately after re-reading it. And now, here are some different ones...

Lessons and principles Corrie teaches that I need in my life right now: 

• God is in control, even, and especially when I feel out of control. All those miracles to keep Corrie and Betsie going that I noted above; all those blessings. Had they not had those terrible experiences, would Corrie have been as beautiful an instrument in God's hand? She was already a lovely person, but I doubt it. When I experience trials and tribulation, the Lord takes care of me, too. My experiences will mold me into a better instrument for His service.
• It is okay to admit your doubts and fears, and to acknowledge the good that you admire in others.  Corrie readily admits that Betsie is naturally a little closer to God than she is, and she admires and loves her sister for it and strives herself to reach that same plane of unselfishness and love for those around her.  I have plenty of faults, some very well known to me. And I see the goodness in others... I don't need to pound myself down or feel annoyed with others when they are better than me in some way. Learn and grow, let others help pull me up, too. 
• The Lord will give me the strength I need in the moment of the trial of my faith.  Father's response to Corrie's worrying about death, "when you and I go to Amsterdam--when do I give you your ticket?" "Why, just before we get on the train." "Exactly. And our Father in Heaven knows when we're going to need things, too. Don't run out ahead of Him, Corrie. When the time comes that some of us will have to die, you will look into your heart and find the strength you need--just in time" (p. 44). 
• Other people's choices can hurt us, but they needn't scar us for life. We can forgive and utilize the atonement to give our pain over to God.  Corrie could have hated Karel the rest of her life for throwing their relationship away for fortune, but she forgave him and asked God to let her love him like He loves him.  She nearly lost herself hating the man who turned herself and her family in, but again finally gave away that hate.  She nearly didn't shake the hand of the man who had been a terrible guard at the prison camp, but with God, she could do it. 
• Even during my deepest trials, or busiest hours, I can serve.  Corrie's mother continued to care for her neighbors and friends even though she could speak but three words and was paralyzed after her stroke. There was no defeat, only faith in that woman. Her life was happy, even as an invalid, in service.

Lessons, principles, and guidelines of mentoring: 

• "Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you." "Father's Suitcase."  p. 42 (35th anniversary edition). 
• Love and a soft voice teach better than yelling and harsh admonitions. Betsie's love for others changes the entire atmosphere, even in the death camp, from one of hate and fear, to one of love and service. People are naturally inspired to show more love around others who see the good and potential in them rather than the evil. 
• Perfect honesty. Keep it real with the kids. In everyday life. Your faith will protect you. You'll be blessed. (Nollie, etc.) Though, Corrie never admits to having a secret room, and those people lived because of it. Lie of omission? The Lord knows our hearts, and the German "law" was extremely misguided at the time. How trying... 
• Time outdoors is essential to learning and healing. The gardens help heal the victims of war to heal, to forgive, to move on.  
• Sometimes you just have to let go of a mentee to protect others. Father fires Otto when he discovers how terribly cruel he has been towards Christoffels. Though he tried to reason with the young man, Otto was already brain washed a Nazi and past feeling. Sometimes you just have to let go of trying to change others. Agency is real.  
• Different leaders lead differently. Corrie was different from Betsie who was different from Father, who was different from Tante Jans, etc. but all of these characters exhibit beautiful leadership skills. We all have different strengths. That's okay. 
• Lean on the Lord when you need help and He will provide. After learning of her father's death, Corrie seeks comfort from people, her captors, who are not comforting in the least. (An easy mistake to make after being in isolation). She relearns how she needs to rely on God in those times of trouble. Comfort is near. I know the Lord will inspire me as to what I should do regarding my children and what they need if I seek his will in humble prayer. 

Examples of doing the right thing even when it was hard or seemed like the wrong thing:  

• Nollie tells the truth about hiding Jews, having faith that her honesty will protect Annaliese, and Annaliese is indeed protected.  That would be hard for me. I think I probably tell more white lies than I realize. Corrie did, too. The Nazi's didn't find the brothers who literally were "under the table" and Annaliese did escape, though. Wow, wow, wow! 
• Betsie thanking the Lord for the fleas.  I was impressed that she did that.  Like Corrie, I wouldn't have wanted to either and I would have thought my sister a nut. But they really were a protection. They were able to keep that Bible and hold those services and touch the lives of so many women because of those blessed biting fleas! 
• Peter playing Wilhelmas for the congregation. Right thing? Unsure... but it did bring spirit and love to the people.  He did what little he could to show his patriotism and courage. True to himself. 
• Unselfishly sharing the vitamins with everyone. Corrie didn't want to initially, but Betsie always did, and later they shared freely.  The vitamins never ran out until a new source of vitamins was obtained. Wow. 
• Continuing to serve after being severely mistreated. Before her discharge, Corrie continues to help others in the hospital get bedpans even though a gypsy woman flings her putrid gangrene leg wrapping in her face. She endures and continues to serve those in need. 
• Laughing with those who mock and belittle.  Betsie laughs with the woman guard who is making fun of her instead of getting offended like the woman expected, and she is beat for it. She still turns the other cheek, so Christ-like. 
• Bearing testimony to a Nazi--following the spirit.  Chapter 11, The Lieutenant.  At Scheveningen, Corrie testifies of Christ to the man who conducts her "trial."  She risks her life, but follows the spirit in doing so. She opens that man up to a possible road of healing and faith. Wow.  So often I keep my own mouth closed about what I believe in out of fear.  Fear of what, though?  I can't imagine my life being at risk like this woman's was for testifying of spiritual truths.

There are a lot more examples under all of these topics that I could refer to and discuss, but I think I will move on, as there are a couple more things I want to record in this posting about this book.  What I really need to do is buy my own copy of the book and mark it up like crazy.  I used a library copy this time. Mistake. This book needs to be in my personal library for keeps! 

Something I want to think about... How does the "immediate" or "urgent" get in the way of the "important" in my life?  I struggle with this a lot. I want to finish the dishes, I want to finish cleaning up, I want to finish the chapter, I want to finish this blog posting. . . I like to finish things and sometimes neglect the small teaching moments, the exciting moments of love that I won't be able to get back; I lose the opportunities to create tender memories by reading that story "right now" despite being in the middle of something else.  I forget that the laundry can wait, and good heavens there will be more of it. It's not like I'm missing out on anything. Ha!  I am not the type to let household duties get completely out of hand, so I needn't worry if I'm delayed fifteen minutes by answering a question, helping my son get his shoes on the right feet, or comforting someone who has stubbed a toe  Yes, Mommy needs time to do things. (I'm writing this at 1:30 in the morning, so I guess my time is now... except I need sleep, too.) But I have a tendency to be generally selfish and prefer my kids to wait more than I say yes and make now special, or to help them but be inwardly disgruntled the whole time. Attitude problem.   

I think I need a little more rubato in my life. 

Here's what I mean. "Rubato" is an Italian musical term and it literally means to "rob time." But, in music, when time is stolen, like Robin Hood, it must be given back somewhere.  Where there is a slowing down, there has to be a speeding back up. I like my life to run smoothly at tempo 120, like a march, precise and accurate.  I need to ease up and let there be a little more ebb and flow. It need not stay slow--laundry has to get to done for the good of the family, too. Maybe it can happen a little bit later than I had anticipated and life will go on and be okay.  

The most beautiful songs I have sung are filled with rubato. They are more passionate, more longing, more memorable. So is a life. 

In reading, "The Hiding Place," I realized that my priorities regarding what is important to do everyday need to shift. Household chores, the kid's daily routine, cleanliness, and responding to emails in a timely manner are all important things. Before them on the list, however, should be love, quality time, scriptures and prayer, relationships. If we have a jammy day and don't make our beds because I get up late after a rough night with the baby (or blogging...*sigh*), but we still have scriptures and prayer, read stories and laugh and play together, all will be well. I love how Father starts the day, even with his employees, reading the good word. He also values his relationships people more than making money. He sees what Christ sees in others, and his children, friends, and associates are blessed by it. 

I want to see what Christ sees as important in my life and see to it that it happens. 

What's the Point?

Ah, the first blog post...

Why do I want a blog? Funny how this is starting...   It is just for me.  I need a place to write my thoughts and feelings as I read, study, ponder, and learn.

You see, I want to home school my kids. That's kind of a big deal since I myself was not exactly home schooled. I received some great mentoring at home, but my school years were very traditional. Public schooled then on to college, I was 100% on the conveyor belt, stepping off a finished product with a BM degree Magna Cum Lauda from BYU. I was plenty "successful" in school. Good at testing, good at jumping through the hoops, and good at making the grade. Great at earning and keeping scholarships, great at writing what the teacher wanted to read and seeing what the teacher wanted me to see in each book. Turns out being good at school is different from being good at learning, though.  I want something different for myself and my kids. Time to start over...

And here is one of my sources of inspiration. I happen to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, (I'm a Mormon) and in one of our cannons of scripture, The Doctrine and Covenants, it reads in Section 88 verse 118,

 "And as all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith." 

I love this!  Here's the goodness:

I lack faith in

• my current education
• my ability to mentor my children to earn their own education 
• general... I seem to be needing to acquire more faith daily as I find more reasons to exercise faith. In the atonement, in my Savior... isn't that what life is about though? Trials to learn by. 

So let's do something some about it... Let's get an education!  

I'm going to diligently seek learning every day, seeking words of wisdom out of the best books, and applying study and faith together to discover what I need to fulfill my life mission of leadership and excellence and help teach and inspire my children to achieve the same.

I want a leadership education for myself and my children.  You can't pass on what you don't have, so this blog is going record my journey to gain it. You can check out tjed.org to find out all the details of what I mean by a "Leadership Education."  Great site... life-changing educational philosophy... seriously, check it out. 

Future posts will include my musings on books, responses to prompts from a "Mentoring in the Classics" course I'm enrolled in, and my daily discoveries as I learn and grow with my kids as they go through core phase and beyond in their learning. 

Here goes something important, I hope.